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Relationships

Advice needed - separated, difficult situation

6 replies

Stealthynamechange · 03/07/2020 20:25

Hi all
I have been separated from h since nov18, we have ds (3). H is difficult & has abused me in the past, he completely ignores me when we handover ds, hes with H 3/7 me 4/7.
Last april he refused to hand ds over to me, hiding from me in his car, until i sent him half chb money. It terrified me & i should have reported it but didnt. I now send him half chb money monthly & claim no maintenance as im scared of what he will do. Ive always paid all childcare costs.
My Dp has covid, we dont live together but are a bubble. DS & I are isolating for 2 weeks.(not with dp). H took this badly, i have asked if he would like to video call Ds he wont as he doesnt want companies like whatsapp, fb etc having his personal data. I asked him if he wanted to call ds, he said he didnt want someone else listening in. I explained there is just ds & i here, he didnt reply. I asked him again today if he would like to call ds he hasnt replied.
Im scared he will do something when he has ds again, im sad for ds as he doesnt understand.
Im thinking of applying for residency so i can claim through csa. Does anyone know anything about doing this? Im scared of H & worried if i do apply he'll do something. He has threatend to take ds in the past. I believe he would.
Any help or advice would be great.
Ive done the freedom programe if thats relevant. Thanks for reading.

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PurpleButterflyAway · 03/07/2020 20:42

Get legal advice ASAP, do not allow your ex to have your child until it’s gone through court Flowers

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PurpleButterflyAway · 03/07/2020 20:42

I don’t say that lightly btw, but he has threatened you and your son. Take it seriously and protect you and your child.

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Stealthynamechange · 03/07/2020 21:10

Thank you, im scared, i know that sounds over dramatic. Ive emailed a solicitor just now. Any help would be appreciated.

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Quartz2208 · 03/07/2020 21:14

You need proper legal advice and I think contact through the court system

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sobothered · 03/07/2020 21:33

Don’t let him go until you’ve had proper legal advice

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Stealthynamechange · 04/07/2020 08:53

Thanks both, as ive never reported anything i dont think i could stop him taking ds, i do want to promote his relationship with him. Im living on pins & needed to take diazepam to sleep last night.

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