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DH has been using cam/chat site **Title edited by MNHQ**

(244 Posts)
where2begin Thu 02-Jul-20 13:17:05

Just discovered that my DP has been using the website chaturbate.
I'm devastated. We literally just reserved a house.

OP’s posts: |
KillSwitch Thu 02-Jul-20 16:50:24

So sorry OP. If I'd been reading this seven years ago when I discovered exDP doing the same I'd have given some bullshit about how you can get past this but honestly... You can't. I thought I could get past it, and for some time genuinely thought I had got past it, but you'll always wonder if he's still doing it and in exDP's case it just escalated to him actively looking for other people to physically cheat with.
Ultimately it's up to you what you do but think long and hard before getting tied into a mortgage with this man! flowers

Bookaholic73 Thu 02-Jul-20 16:53:23

I’m not sure what that website is, but I presume it’s not good.

Sounds like you’re better off having found out now.

NoMoreDickheads Thu 02-Jul-20 16:59:27

Ewwwww. One of my many dodgy exes used to watch that, we lived in separate cities and he used to try and encourage me to watch it too.

He turned out to be obsessed with porn, women as sexual objects etc. Not good.

Closetbeanmuncher Thu 02-Jul-20 17:14:18

No way I would be tied to that....financially or otherwise.

Crystalspider Thu 02-Jul-20 17:24:45

Can you cancel the reservation?
I'd see this a red flag to back out now.
Sorry op

ArriettyJones Thu 02-Jul-20 17:26:31

I never understand why posters put the name of the grubby website in the thread title. It makes it look like an advert.

Tryalittletenderness Thu 02-Jul-20 17:41:22

What is it?

ArriettyJones Thu 02-Jul-20 17:43:51

I think we can all make a good guess from the name. Looks like a portmanteau. Bleurgh.

where2begin Thu 02-Jul-20 18:11:38

I've requested a thread title change. I was in shock when I posted and couldn't think straight. He's insisting he only went on once out of curiosity but I really don't believe it. I feel like everything has been turned upside down.

OP’s posts: |
nopoo Thu 02-Jul-20 18:21:16

Have never heard of this but it sounds vile. I'm so sorry OP.

I would not go ahead with the house move.

How did you find out?

JustKittenAround Thu 02-Jul-20 18:23:21

I’m so sorry. I think this is a massive red flag. I had to look up the site, and from what I have read here and other relationship forums... this is usually the tip of the iceberg...

where2begin Thu 02-Jul-20 18:26:27

Weirdly, a screen grab video in his recently deleted photos folder!!

OP’s posts: |
ArriettyJones Thu 02-Jul-20 18:30:16

What is your legal position with the house purchase?

Wifeofbikerviking Thu 02-Jul-20 18:30:47

Is everything else otherwise going well? I'm hardly the most chill wife going but I dont think I'd end it over porn unless I was convinced it was affecting our relationship.
Maybe ask him to show you his account and history on it so you can see whether hes being honest about his use of it.

Blahblahblahzz Thu 02-Jul-20 18:32:39

I’ll be honest... most guys are on it.

where2begin Thu 02-Jul-20 18:32:57

@ArriettyJones literally just reserved and paid the reservation fee
@Wifeofbikerviking he says he doesn't have an account. He's insisting that he was only on it one time.

Yes otherwise all has been well. But I feel very betrayed. If it had been a porn site, looking at videos that might be different but it's live cams with a chat function

OP’s posts: |
KobeWan Thu 02-Jul-20 18:33:16

I've never even heard of it. What is it?

ArriettyJones Thu 02-Jul-20 18:35:27

Hopefully it won’t be too expensive to back out then. At least you found out in time. Sorry you had a shock, though. flowers

I’ll be honest... most guys are on it.

Some of them are probably the Ben honest with their partners about it, eh?

doyounothavegoogle Thu 02-Jul-20 18:37:29


I've never even heard of it. What is it?

I've never heard of it either, but it isn't massively hard to work out from it's name.

doyounothavegoogle Thu 02-Jul-20 18:37:57


Divebar Thu 02-Jul-20 18:37:57

I went over there to have a look a while ago after someone mentioned it to me. It’s sex cams... women, men and some couples. I assumed you would need to pay to even enter but you don’t. It was slightly dull to be honest because they’re obviously waiting for enough people to show up.... and then there are certain things you can pay for the performer to do for you. So for me there would be a difference between someone spending money and potentially chatting and someone just watching.... not saying either is good if done regularly.

NoMoreDickheads Thu 02-Jul-20 18:38:55

I don't think most guys are on Chaturbate IDK. Pornhub, Xhamster, sites like that are more popular.

Chaturbate seems a bit worse to me because the women are directly performing seals for the audience. But that's just my feeling about it.

Wifeofbikerviking Thu 02-Jul-20 18:39:00

Ah ok. The chatting to real people thing is worse. In your shoes I'd probably pull out of the purchase and take some time to see where you both are on this

Divebar Thu 02-Jul-20 18:39:18

You don’t need to have an account

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