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Would you trust a man who doesn't turns off the blue WhatsApp ticks

(48 Posts)
mel263 Thu 02-Jul-20 13:04:07

I've just started chatting to a man on OLD and we took it to WhatsApp.
I noticed from from the beginning, his 'read receipts" is turned off , so you can't see a blue ticks if he's read it. He also hasn't got 'Last Seen' either.
It's completely up to him, but do you think this is this a Red Flag for the future?

Hope this makes sense!

OP’s posts: |
ginandcv Thu 02-Jul-20 13:04:51

No. I do this. I hate the feeling of being monitored.

LemonRedwood Thu 02-Jul-20 13:06:01

Not really. My sister has blue ticks turned off as the pressure to respond once someone knows you've read it is overwhelming for some people. Means she doesn't see blue ticks for anyone else either, unless it's a group chat.

ForeverRedSkinhead Thu 02-Jul-20 13:06:46

No. That alone wouldn't be a red flag for me.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings Thu 02-Jul-20 13:07:43

No I don't think this is a read flag at all. Just sounds like someone who doesn't want to feel pressured to reply instantly, or bombarded by messages from people the second he goes online.

BlingLoving Thu 02-Jul-20 13:08:18

Blue ticks being turned off irritate me, but I wouldn't see it as a red flag, no. Some people feel pressure if everyone can see when they've read something/ are online. I totally get that.

blanche85 Thu 02-Jul-20 13:09:30

Or from his side : 'Would you trust a woman who cares about me not having blue ticks activated on WhatsApp,enough to start a thread on an internet forum about it? Is this a red flag for the future?'

SingingGoldfinch Thu 02-Jul-20 13:09:32

Definitely not! I have friends who OLD and obsess over when someone's last been online who how long ago they read their message and how long they wait to reply. I've also had friends on the other end of it feeling like they're being constantly monitored. Not healthy in my opinion. I don't blame him for turning it off at all.

Usernameismyname01 Thu 02-Jul-20 13:10:30


fedupandlookingforchange Thu 02-Jul-20 13:10:30

I have the read messages turned off on iMessage but on WhatsApp where it just DH I'd be really cross if he turned off the blue ticks as it shows me he's in signal and read the message. I don't need a reply most times just need to know he's got the message.

Sirzy Thu 02-Jul-20 13:10:33

I would be put off someone who wants to monitor my activity to the extent of caring when I was last online or if I had read a message.

DariaMorgendorffer Thu 02-Jul-20 13:11:47

Wouldn't bother me at all. I have mine on, but I kind of hate the intrusiveness of 'last seen' etc.

thatsnotgoingtowork Thu 02-Jul-20 13:12:14

oooh I didn't know you could turn those off! I'll do that too I think!

It's not a red flag on it's own. I check my phone when a message comes in if my teens aren't in the same building as me, because I want to check there isn't a minor emergency I'm needed for, but if I'm working (or even if I'm just cooking dinner) I don't necessarily want to be constantly available to everyone or have to get into an exchange of multiple messages, or go and check something for a reply, or whatever.

Logically nobody has to reply to messages as soon as they read them, but so very, very many people say "well I know s/he's read it, why isn't s/he replying? How rude! Does s/he hate me/ think s/he is too importnat?"

LizzieMacQueen Thu 02-Jul-20 13:12:24

Wouldn't put me off. Presumably it was set up like this long before he knew you? (If not, then I'd reconsider).

yellowsunset Thu 02-Jul-20 13:13:14

I think he'd be put off by you monitoring him so closely. So a red flag in the opposite direction.

Crystalspider Thu 02-Jul-20 13:13:26

Not a red flag but monitor how consistent he messages, does he get back to you and not let you wait too long?
If you can see that he is 'online' alot but not messaging you then that would be a red flag meaning your not a priority.

dontdressme Thu 02-Jul-20 13:21:16

I had mine turned off for a long time as messages often flash up when I'm busy working. I don't want to constantly drop everything to reply to messages, and some clients had a real problem with that.

Innitogether Thu 02-Jul-20 13:22:17

I have 'last seen' notifications turned off on WhatsApp as I started to get narked when an ex didn't respond within an hour even though I could see he was online. Best thing I've done. It stays off permanently now and I don't give a f*ck if that annoys others.

otterturk Thu 02-Jul-20 13:23:06

Nope. I turn mine off. Precisely so people can't tell whether I've seen something and expect a response!

CorianderLord Thu 02-Jul-20 13:24:29

I don't give a shit what they do with their ticks - I don't check them. Pretty pathetic and obsessive to do so

IAlreadyHadOne Thu 02-Jul-20 13:26:04

I have my blue ticks and last seen turned off, have done for years!

No dodgy reason.

ScubaSteven Thu 02-Jul-20 13:38:31

That's exactly what I was going to say yellowsunset.

SunnyRoses Thu 02-Jul-20 14:22:10

I have my read receipts and last seen off too

foamrolling Thu 02-Jul-20 14:25:14

Yes exactly what others had said, a red flag for me would be someone being unhappy with those things turned off.

saraclara Thu 02-Jul-20 14:28:47

Wow. How did I not know that you can do this?

I'm going to turn them off now. I totally feel the pressure to respond when I know the person who messaged me knows I've seen it. I've been known not to open messages for an hour, just to avoid this.

Thanks, OP!

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