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Parents don’t want to visit?

(17 Posts)
GinDrinker00 Wed 01-Jul-20 12:08:09

Bit of a weird one.

Okay so lockdown rules are changing 4th July you can visit your family, stay in their home etc.
I haven’t seen my family since last year - they usually visit every few months as I can’t travel to them due to disabilities meaning the drive is to long and my body would lock up in pain and I’d probably crash. Can’t really use the trains as my mum moaned when I suggested I could get on a train.
I understand why they haven’t been to visit yet due to lockdown etc but they’ve been to visit my brother, grand parents etc etc. Everyone apart from me and their grand children.
They’re retired and don’t mind the drive usually so I don’t get it. I feel a bit pissed off as they’ve seen my brother lots and he works around COVID19 patients so they can’t be that worried about catching it.
Not sure how I bring it up to them without causing an argument. I have nobody where I live and after 6 months of complete isolation I feel like I’m going a bit stir crazy.
Any one else’s parents refusing to see them? sad

OP’s posts: |
Sharkerr Wed 01-Jul-20 12:43:08

Sorry, I don’t understand why you won’t just get a train whether your mum moans or not?

nolovelost Wed 01-Jul-20 12:49:02

Sounds like they are being cautious as you're vulnerable health wise?

BacklashStarts Wed 01-Jul-20 12:55:41

I think I you are bring a smidge unreasonable. The rules haven’t changed yet and it sounds like they have seen people who are local to them so distance rather than the individual would appear to be the driving issue.

Dunno why your mum gets a say on your travel plans.

CuppaZa Wed 01-Jul-20 12:58:55

I’m assuming you’re an adult so I fail to see why your mum gets to dictate your mode of transport?
Either way, maybe they don’t want to be around you due to possible risk to you? Maybe they don’t want to travel very far yet?

Menora Wed 01-Jul-20 13:06:46

My family don’t want to see me either despite them seeing their friends and the DC back at school! I do understand why you are miffed. I could even drive to mine but they keep making up excuses ‘DC too small’ and such like, sometimes I think there is a back story you don’t know about - I am sure my Dsis and BIL have made the decision that she is ‘safe’ and I am ‘unsafe’ without actually asking me about it. So am unofficial risk assessment on your behalf!

User8008135 Wed 01-Jul-20 13:23:23

What happens if you invite them? My cousin is vulnerable and so my aunt and uncle were waiting for her to suggest meeting up as they didnt want to pressure her. in the end my sister had to tell her that as she obviously had no clue.

User8008135 Wed 01-Jul-20 13:25:43

I thought the OP would want to stay with her parents, so she can't get the train if her mum is unhappy with it. She has to respect them there.

GinDrinker00 Wed 01-Jul-20 13:31:55

My brother isn’t local to them, none of my family are. he’s in the middle of us so it’s not the length of the joinery either as they’ve visited him a good few times now.
No they’re not vulnerable.
If I got a train my mum has said she wouldn’t allow me to visit and so I would have to get straight back on the train home. I probably am being unreasonable I’m just a bit upset as I mustn’t be very high on their list.

OP’s posts: |
GinDrinker00 Wed 01-Jul-20 13:32:51

I did invite them, it’s my birthday soon and said I’d love to see them. And all I got was “we will have to see.” And that was that.

OP’s posts: |
User8008135 Wed 01-Jul-20 13:48:46

Oh I'm sorry OP, have they always been this way?

Menora Wed 01-Jul-20 13:48:56

Same OP
Big birthdays for myself and both of my DC coming up
Yet they considering going away with friends!

CuppaZa Wed 01-Jul-20 13:53:38

Oh op that’s pretty horrible sad

GinDrinker00 Wed 01-Jul-20 13:54:13

Well they’ve never been perfect, but this is a new one for them. Just really sucks, as my kids want to see their family and their grand parents and see other kids around here seeing their families and they don’t understand.

OP’s posts: |
Menora Wed 01-Jul-20 14:01:45

Op I have disengaged from my family a bit now. I don’t want to be part of this kind of thing and I can’t control what they do so I have taken a big step back

Purplequalitystreet Wed 01-Jul-20 14:16:14

Have you asked them why? What did they say?

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 01-Jul-20 14:21:30

What was it like for you when you were growing up with your parents?.
Was your brother more favoured and given more help with you being sidelined then too?.

Sadly they do not seem to be at all bothered with you now and their attitude is indifference. Their comment, "we will have to see" re your inviting them is tantamount to a flat no. Its their loss really although they will not see it as such. Such people do not change readily if at all.

What are the other set of grandparents like, if they are nice and importantly emotionally healthy people I would concentrate your efforts on them.

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