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Me and my ex are trying a fresh start

(11 Posts)
Joanhey Wed 01-Jul-20 03:30:30

Me and my ex split up during lockdown because I had a bit of a mental breakdown due to a head injury. I ended up pushing him away and dumping him. Since I’ve felt better I reconnected with him and we’ve agreed we still love each other and we’re going to start fresh. He’s struggling with the big change of me being back in his life and he’s worried I’m going to leave him again. Since we agreed to a fresh start, I’ve noticed I’m the one to initiate affection and make most of the effort. I’ve also noticed he’s stopped texting me saying good night and avoids replying to messages when I say cute things like I miss him etc. Do I give him time to adjust and just put up with this feeling of rejection for a little while? Or am I just clinging onto a dead relationship? I really don’t know what to do, I do love him very much!

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Joanhey Wed 01-Jul-20 03:32:11

Any advice would be very helpful and very much appreciated! sad

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NotaCoolMum Wed 01-Jul-20 05:17:43

You say you pushed him away?.... I think for a while at least- you are going to have to earn back his trust. He’s probably being very cautious with his feelings at the moment. Hope it works out for you both 💐

RLEOM Wed 01-Jul-20 06:56:24

He doesn't sound like his heart is invested. Not texting before bed etc was a sign for me that my now ex didn't have me on his mind. Turns out he was emotionally investing in someone else.

allthesharks Wed 01-Jul-20 07:28:57

He is probably worried that you might push him away again and he's trying to protect his own feelings by holding back a bit.

I would speak to him and say to him that you've noticed these things. Don't criticise him for them, just see what he says. But mostly, be patient and give him some time.

Joanhey Wed 01-Jul-20 11:32:35

NotaCoolMum

You say you pushed him away?.... I think for a while at least- you are going to have to earn back his trust. He’s probably being very cautious with his feelings at the moment. Hope it works out for you both 💐

Yes I pushed him away, I wasn’t in a good place and pushed everyone away, I ended up finishing with him bc I thought at the time it was for the best, I only realised after I was feeling more myself again that I’d made a massive mistake! sad yes I totally agree that he could be being cautious! This is why I want to do true best thing for him. Thank you! 😘

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Joanhey Wed 01-Jul-20 11:36:27

allthesharks

He is probably worried that you might push him away again and he's trying to protect his own feelings by holding back a bit.

I would speak to him and say to him that you've noticed these things. Don't criticise him for them, just see what he says. But mostly, be patient and give him some time.

Thank you! Yes I’m trying to give him some time. I totally get that he might have his guard up I just hope it is that. I will try and be super patient and see what happens. Do you think talking to him about it will push him away though? If he is scared of getting hurt again etc?

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Joanhey Wed 01-Jul-20 11:38:50

This is one of my worries yes! I have spoken to him about it and he said he’s not got a romantic connection with anyone apart from me. But it’s still in the back of my head! :/

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needhandhold Wed 01-Jul-20 14:10:14

If I was you I wouldn’t say anything. Just keep making effort. Give it until life returns to normal. This virus has made everything and everyone a bit weird/stressed. Don’t make or do anything rash?

Joanhey Wed 01-Jul-20 20:10:08

needhandhold

If I was you I wouldn’t say anything. Just keep making effort. Give it until life returns to normal. This virus has made everything and everyone a bit weird/stressed. Don’t make or do anything rash?

Yeah I guess it is a very unusual time for any of this to be happening. I’m trying my best to not be rash with the things I do and say. I genuinely do just want to make it work and for us to be happy. I’m trying to view it all as just investing time and patience into him.

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Joanhey Wed 01-Jul-20 20:11:12

I didn’t expect so many kind people to offer advice! Thank you all! X

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