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Ball in his court?(4 Posts)
Had around 6 dates with a guy, he was into me and seemed to see a future. Last date, we DTD and some baggage came out on his end (ex stuff - I had seen this brewing, had recently left a LTR and still getting over) plus I told him I was quite inexperienced from a DTD perspective (am mid 20s, hes a bit older) and we both freaked out a bit - think he was frightened I saw him as "the one"/the right guy (I didn't! But was potentially a bit coupley) whereas he wasnt ready for anything serious despite having said he was the whole time - all quite awkward...
Agreed to take things slow but lost momentum eg he was suggesting things for us to do but was difficult to follow through and the convo was drying up. There was a noticeable difference between texting before and after we met that time and just seemed like there was a lack of impetus (even though he had suggested doing things again). I feel like he was being nice but didnt know how to break it off and sending many mixed messages e.g. acting really keen to meet and suggesting but then not instigating day-to-day chat etc. There was a lot of chemistry but when we last saw each other we discussed, if things didnt work out, seeing each other as friends.
Ultimately I messaged a few days ago saying that things werent working for me, I enjoyed our time together but that the vibe to push things forward was missing and felt we were looking for different things... Said that I would be happy to meet as friends down the line if not too weird for him - but if was too weird, lets leave things as they were.
He replied saying he had really enjoying meeting and that it was a real shame we hadn't met at another time, acknowledging his baggage etc... Also said that he'd be keen to meet as friends and we could grab a pint when the pubs opened?
Bit of chit chat ensued, I said sounded good and he could show me his local when it reopened, he said he would.
Do I leave it here for him to follow up if he wants to be friends?
💐 I’m really sorry, it sounds like he got as far as he wanted and was never really interested in more.
The let’s stay in touch but only as friends and I’ll show you my local pub stuff is kind of code for “I’m still down to fuck tho”
Time to forget him xx
Maybe there's someone else he's pursuing? Either way, I wouldn't hold out much hope for a friendship. Maybe try him in a couple of weeks when pubs are open and if he makes an excuse, you know where you stand.
I did think that but seemed we were quite well aligned on a lot of things and had some deep chats etc... just seems weird... but agree his behaviour is suggesting that
discussed everything especially in the very early stages and seemed to be on the same page about many things
he was obviously still grieving loss of his past LTR and said that thought it was a real shame we hadnt met at a different time in our lives. and that he had really enjoyed us spending time together
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