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Partners ex angry

(201 Posts)
Rainbow12e Tue 30-Jun-20 17:50:09

Partners DD turned 10 last week.
My partner posted a photo of her and I liked the replies and said how happy she was with the gifts that my adult daughter had bought her.
Apparently that wound partners ex up and she said it was like I was overstepping . She's got funny before when DP posted a photo up of me and his DD (On Instagram) after a few months of us being together as well.
I just don't know why she doesn't want her DD to be happy. I moved in during lockdown and it's been lovely. Her DD and I have really bonded and spent a lot of time together. Surely that's for the best all round? She has a partner as well and seems as happy as we are so I don't really understand it.

Asking on here because AIBU is just full of nastiness.

OP’s posts: |
Nymeriastark1 Tue 30-Jun-20 17:59:28

Depends how long you've been together really.

backseatcookers Tue 30-Jun-20 18:00:19

How long have you been together?

Rainbow12e Tue 30-Jun-20 18:07:52

15 months yesterday x

OP’s posts: |
SadSausage44 Tue 30-Jun-20 18:08:25

Why do you have to plaster it all over social media? Have some respect ffs, I wouldn't be happy if you did that with my daughter and I split up and happily co parented with my ex for 25 years. Do you have children of your own?

harriethoyle Tue 30-Jun-20 18:11:01

The child's father put a photo of his own daughter up. As he is entitled to.

You didn't do anything wrong OP. Sounds like the ex is jealous.

cameocat Tue 30-Jun-20 18:11:35

I from your post about how much time you've spent together, how you've bonded and had a lovely time it sounds to me like her mum is upset. I can understand that, she might be hurt. Of course it's good that you get in well but seeing someone else have that kind of relationship with your child is hard.

Perhaps just be a little less public for her mum's sake.

cameocat Tue 30-Jun-20 18:12:52

I also find it really interesting I. Your post that you refer to her as 'partner's ex' rather than her mum. Maybe you are overstepping boundaries here?

Sooobooored Tue 30-Jun-20 18:13:00

I don’t think it was very tactful of you to say that.

Justtheonemorethen24 Tue 30-Jun-20 18:13:29

Ultimately though that is her daughter. It sounds like you have her best interests at heart. Maybe be a little more respectful of the mother daughter relationship. I say that in the kindest way. I’m sure you’re lovely and care for her, but she’s not your child.

Nymeriastark1 Tue 30-Jun-20 18:20:02

15 months isn't very long. Perhaps she's worried her daughter will be upset if you split up because you've gotten to involved with her to fast.

Rainbow12e Tue 30-Jun-20 18:20:33

We didn't plaster it over social media?
I just saw that my daughter (who is in her twenties) had replied so I commented saying how DD loved her gift.
I just think that I am going to be in DD's life for a long time, hopefully forever. I just hoped she would be pleased we have got so close. I know I am not her mum obviously.

OP’s posts: |
Fred578 Tue 30-Jun-20 18:23:33

You won’t get a balanced view on Mumsnet. The responses are always bizarre. If you are lovely to the child then you are overstepping, if you hang back then you are a cold hearted bitch who should never have got involved with someone with kids grin

Crystalspider Tue 30-Jun-20 18:24:50

I guess she feels threatened that you will be her step mum, you're only commenting, don't let it get to you

TJ17 Tue 30-Jun-20 18:26:49

Fred578

You won’t get a balanced view on Mumsnet. The responses are always bizarre. If you are lovely to the child then you are overstepping, if you hang back then you are a cold hearted bitch who should never have got involved with someone with kids grin


So true 😂

BonnyWeeOne Tue 30-Jun-20 18:31:31

Fred578

You won’t get a balanced view on Mumsnet. The responses are always bizarre. If you are lovely to the child then you are overstepping, if you hang back then you are a cold hearted bitch who should never have got involved with someone with kids grin


Absolutely!
The mum sounds like she's probably jealous and not really over it. I think you'd be well within your rights to block her from SM so this thing doesn't just keep repeating itself.

willowmelangell Tue 30-Jun-20 18:33:55

The only time in 20 odd years I have experienced jealousy was when my dd stepmum bought my dd an exciting outfit to wear to a disco. I couldn't afford anything new or even charity shop. I remember how upset I was. Never said anything of course!
Maybe just ease back a little on present buying and being so open on SM about how great it all is.

dicksplash Tue 30-Jun-20 18:40:46

I don't see what you have done wrong. Maybe if you had posted a picture of her daughter I could see her being a bit miffed but all you have done is like a post and reply to your own child (again, maybe if her family had commented and you replied directly to them that would be over stepping).

I would just rise above and carry on as you were.

NeedToKnow101 Tue 30-Jun-20 18:48:49

IMO what you've done is fine unless your DP left his ex for you.

Giraffesinscarves Tue 30-Jun-20 18:58:20

Maybe she's jealous like your friend with Lupus hmm

OP you really need to get some self reflection on how you relate to others.

94% of people in AIBU told you that you were being unreasonable they can't all be nasty!

backseatcookers Tue 30-Jun-20 19:17:28

Haha OP you are the gift that keeps on giving!

The wide eyed disingenuous thing is getting a bit old now.

Although not as old as the woman you started a thread about saying that at 'THIRTY FIVE' she looks surprisingly good for her age 😂

Maybe spend a bit less time challenging what you view as misconceptions of you and a little more time challenging your own behaviour that has led to those 'misconceptions'.

Based on your recent threads it must be exhausting being you. Chill out, be kind to people, be gracious, accept feedback both positive and negative, be willing to learn and grow.

Aerial2020 Tue 30-Jun-20 19:24:45

You haven't done anything wrong. If she finds it hard ,which could be understandable depending on how they split, that's her stuff.
You won't get a balanced view on here but no one knows the history or the circumstances of this. It will all add to her reaction.

Yankathebear Tue 30-Jun-20 19:28:24

I would start being a bit more careful about what her mum can see on social media so as not to upset her.

Apologise and move on.

Rainbow12e Tue 30-Jun-20 19:48:16

I actually meant she looked absolutely amazing in terms of that post about the 35 year old.
But in the mumsnet way it got twisted. Never mind. I don't waste sleep over it, far from it.
Don't have to justify everything I write. As someone said up thread, you never really get a balanced response on mumsnet which I have very much learnt of late.

OP’s posts: |
Lovethyselff Tue 30-Jun-20 19:57:24

I think posting a photo of you and her dd after being together a few months would have upset me too.
I don’t think you’ve necessarily done anything wrong but as a mum, i would also be upset over my dd relationship with step mum. Obvs I would want her to get on wel etc but a part of me would still be jealous.
Perhaps get your partner to change his settings on Facebook so she can’t see the photos? Maybe it’s something that’ll change in time

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