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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

How to ask somebody on a date? I’m clueless!

16 replies

Passmethechocolatecake · 29/06/2020 23:15

Hello!

As the title suggests I would like to ask a man out on a date but I don’t know how. I have not long got out of a long term relationship so I’m a bit out of practice . I’m also not really looking for anything serious either. More of a take it as it comes approach.
I started talking to him online about four months ago. Contact sort of fizzled out because I forgot to reply one day and had a lot of stuff going on so never text him back. However he has initiated contact since and I realised that I’d missed chatting to him. He seems nice, a bit young for his age but I can live with that.
Back to the point in questIon, how do I ask him out and what can I suggest as a date? He lives a fair distance from me so if he says yes I’ll likely offer to meet him closer to his town. What’s open..? What can I suggest as a activity..?Help me! I’m nervous and keep putting it off!

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Nellydean21 · 29/06/2020 23:17

Suggest meeting for w walk and picnic somewhere mid way and safe, ie a tourist spot.

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Nellydean21 · 29/06/2020 23:18

Dont offer to go to his town. Keep it mutual in terms of effort.

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AnnaSW1 · 29/06/2020 23:19

Just say do you fancy going for a drink sometime

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Passmethechocolatecake · 29/06/2020 23:23

I could see if he’s up for a walk and picnic although I’m not sure he’s the walking type if past conversations are anything to go by. I need to put my big girl pants on and just do it!

Anna that was my plan but then I realised no pubs are open so it’s not really an option. Mores the pity! He’s a big fan of the pub.

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Crystalspider · 29/06/2020 23:35

Pubs are open from next weekend aren't they.

Just ask him, he got in touch again so he must be keen

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Passmethechocolatecake · 29/06/2020 23:55

Not where I am there not. Last place in the uk to not have a date for the hospitality industry to reopen!

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FizzyPink · 29/06/2020 23:57

Just ask what his plans are for the weekend and then if he replies with not a lot then say “would you fancy meeting up for a drink in the park/dog walk/bike ride?”

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HotMessTryNotToStress · 30/06/2020 05:30

Could you go for your idea of a picnic lunch and meet half way between the two of you? Somewhere public and safe. Alternatively a pub if they are open in that area. Just say would you like to meet up?! He sounds keen as he contacted you again.
Good luck!

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DianaT1969 · 30/06/2020 07:02

How did you start chatting to him online? A dating app? Just wondering as he lives far away that you can be sure he is genuinely single.

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Jockjockjock · 30/06/2020 07:20

Outside, somewhere public for a stroll and a coffee. Pick a day with decent weather, in a nice park that you know has a cafe or coffee hut doing take away. Have a back up for rain.
Then send him a message saying, Would you like to meet me for a coffee? I was thinking here blah blah blah.
Faint heart never won fair (bloke) maiden!

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Jockjockjock · 30/06/2020 07:21

My advice would be to keep alcohol out of it for now, and avoid pubs, you need to come home and have a clear head about it and remember everything!

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Passmethechocolatecake · 30/06/2020 08:30

Ok I’m going to ask, I may wait until Friday though when the new eased lockdown rules are going to be announced. Currently it’s still no travelling beyond five miles here.
I’m really nervous about asking. It’s ridiculous because if he says no it’s not like I’m going to bump into him on a day to day basis. We do have a shared hobby that has put us in the same place quite a few times but if that happens I’ll just run away .
Diana good old online dating. Of all the people I have chatted with he is the only one who seems sane/nice/semi normal. That’s a whole other thread though!

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Passmethechocolatecake · 30/06/2020 08:36

Also, I’m as sure as I can be that he’s single. I have him on social media and no sign of a wife/girlfriend. We are both in our later 20’s so not an unusual age to be unmarried I guess.
Also I hate to sound mean because from what I’ve seen and from our conversations I think he’s lovely but he is not what would be known as a dreamboat! (What a phrase!) coupled with his hobbies I can well believe he struggles with his love life. He admitted to that himself!

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Passmethechocolatecake · 30/06/2020 16:00

I just did it! I think he’s at work at the minute so I may have a long wait for a reply. I’m shitting myself

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Nellydean21 · 30/06/2020 16:34

Can you do something that prevents you checking your phone for a few hours. Put it in a drawer and watch a film. Nothing worse than the trepidation of waiting. Well done!