I literally hate myself right now. I’m in a relationship and have been for over 6 years with my boyfriend. He’s the father to our son who will be 2 next month. We have a made ourselves a little life together and now out the blue I’m finding myself having feelings for someone else.
I don’t want to. I don’t want to feel like this and I’d never ever do anything. I’d never cheat but I feel so awful because I do like this other person and I know I shouldn’t.
My boyfriend loves me and he’s such an amazing father (now) it’s been a rough couple months. He just doesn’t show much love or appreciation but that’s just him and I’ve known that since I started going out with him. We mostly do what he wants when we have some free time. I try and let him have lie ins because he works late. I guess I’m lust a bit lonely. Not that this is an excuse but this other person actually talks to me. Haha
We have good conversations nothing flirty or anything but I know it’s getting a bit much. We speak about holidays and coffee lol my son. His dogs. Work. He’s a good friend. He’s kind and considerate. I just wish my boyfriend was a little bit more like that.
I ask him sometimes if maybe we can talk instead of watching TV or looking at our phones but he says we don’t really have anything to talk about. I am not in anyway trying to put him down at all. I love him. I think the spark is well and truly gone and I’m the only one who has been bothered by it. Well emotionally anyway. Physically he’s bothered by it (when it comes to sex) I really hate myself for feeling like this. The other guy doesn’t find me attractive at all he’s just being friendly and nice.
Please someone give me advice on how to deal with this. I feel sad about it all. I’m not back at work and I’m home a lot on my own. I haven’t told anyone how I feel about this guy.
The guilt is really getting to me. How bad I would feel if it was the other way around. I’m embarrassing him aren’t I. For being selfish.
Me and this guy talk a lot over social media so not so much in private. I do find myself feeling a buzz when he’s commented on something I posted or tags me in something.
I guess I just want some advice. I need a good slapping out of it haha.
Anyway thanks for reading. I feel a bit better for expressing my feelings.
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Feelings for someone else! ☹️
7 replies
Olivia1987 · 28/06/2020 13:40
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