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Just don‘t see a future

(4 Posts)
Curlywurly39 Sat 27-Jun-20 00:06:35

Im not really sure what im asking here but i went to a friends house last night and a four of us mums (socially distanced) Were talking about life and the future and where we see ourselves in the next few years and into retirement. A lot of “me and husband are planning this, were doing this and blah blah..” seeing another friend today going to incredible efforts for her and husbands 10 year wedding anniversary and her saying “we were made for each other, hes my soulmate” i just dont feel that with my DH. I just felt sad as i realised my DH and i are literally on different pages. We literally are still together for the kids. We get on. Were like housemates. I love him but not in love anymore. Weve been together 22 years in August. We literally do nothing for anniversary’s. No affection generally and no intimacy. Weve had sex once in two years. He would love too but i just dont feel the same. I think he loves me lots but i hold a lot of resentment over him not pulling his weight with the kids/mental load/no support when life has been tough eg my parents dying/being made redundant- ive literally sorted all of that out alone as i Feel i cannot go to him for support. I just dont think i want to be in this situation moving forward. We have a mortgage and three kids.

OP’s posts: |
RedBagGreenBag Sat 27-Jun-20 08:46:01

I've no advice, I just wanted to let you know you're not on your own. I've come to realise this is how I feel about my DP, but the thought of only seeing my children for 50% of the time breaks my heart. It's so hard to know what to do for the best.

TracyMed Sun 28-Jun-20 08:51:30

Hey. Have you thought about counselling for the both you? Sounds like thinks can be mended. Don't give up. Xx

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 28-Jun-20 09:13:53

Do not stay in such a marriage simply because or for the children. They won't say thanks to you for doing that to them and it also teaches them damaging lessons about relationships. Whose sake are you staying for as well; is is theirs or more like your own because its somehow "easier".

You two are not together in any sense so let each other go and free these young people of the heavy burden you have both placed upon them. It is much more challenging to come to terms with our own circumstances and face our fears than it is to hide behind them as we stay together “for the kids.” Divorce is not failure but living in such unhappiness is.

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