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How do you get over a breakup when you had a future planned?

(3 Posts)
Beanie288 Fri 26-Jun-20 22:56:33

My heart still loves him but my head told me it wasn't working so I've left him.
We have spent years saving up for our future, now I'm left with a massive chunk of money and a broken heart.
He doesn't want to give up but I'm tired. Neither of us were perfect, we both had a part to play in the rows.
I honestly feel like I'm mourning us and what future we planned, the future home, the future babies.
I've never been the 'dumper' before, I'm normally the dumpee. I keep telling myself to stay strong but I can't stop crying. I don't even know why I'm crying, as the dumpee, shouldn't I be stronger. I've no idea how he feels right now, I've gone NC but I'm sure he's angry at me and upset.

How do you get through this pain?

OP’s posts: |
user1481840227 Fri 26-Jun-20 23:36:28

It's perfectly normal to cry when you're the dumpee. You can still grieve for your lost plans or the relationship even if you're the one who ended it. You ended it because you the relationship obviously deteriorated to the point where you knew the future you planned what wasn't going to be possible.

You are very brave and strong to end it even though you love him. You knew it wasn't working so you did the right thing. That means that you will be happy in future, it just won't be with him...but you have to tell yourself that that's ok, you did the right thing.

It's totally normal to feel like you're mourning. Time is the biggest healer unfortunately. I know no one wants to hear that but it's the truth.

Beanie288 Fri 26-Jun-20 23:53:13

It's weird because I've never felt so strong in a long time, I never imagined I could do this. However, I also feel like I'm mourning and a mess.
I agree that time is a healer. I'm struggling with this breakup so much because he was different to the others. He had maturity and he was the first man I'd actually planned a family with.

So bloody hard.

OP’s posts: |

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