Using the bathroom

[MrsB12345]

Does anyone else's partner get upset when they need to use the bathroom? It seems stupid to even be asking...

I needed a no 2 today and my husband was making our lunch. I'd been BFing our daughter and then said I needed a poop. He got really upset and said I always pick the worst times to go and end up taking ages (I don't usually except for the odd time where I want some alone time and it's the only place I can go for that)

Surely if I need to go I shouldn't feel I can't or have to hold it to a time that suits him better. Or have I completely misunderstood how things should work and his request is in fact ok to ask?!

For the record I never complain when he uses the bathroom

[Shoxfordian]

Obviously you should be able to use the bathroom whenever you need to

Does he try to control other things you do?

[thisstooshallpass]

Why does he want you to hold your poo in?

[KaptainKaveman]

How weird. A man who actively tries to get his own partner to become constipated.

[NC4Now]

No, that is not a reasonable request!! My god, dictating when you can have a poo?!
That’s the most unreasonable thing I’ve read for a long time.

[picklemewalnuts]

OP I searched your name in case you were a poo troll.

He was being unkind 3 years ago.

Has anything improved?

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Indeed what he demanded is not at all reasonable. My guess too is that he is controlling of you in other ways as well sadly.

Why are you and he together at all?.

[UltimateWednesday]

I think this entirely depends.

Obviously, on the face of it you should able to go whenever you please, but I'm saying that as someone who can be in and back within a minute or two, so in the situation you describe I'd have just gone without announcing what I was doing and been back before he could get the food on the table.

DH in the otherhand seems to have to schedule it into his day and it is annoying when he decides to go just as I'm dishing up dinner or we're about to get in the car.

FWIW announcing that you need to poop is odd behaviour IMO.

[picklemewalnuts]

Specific to your question though, a friend gets irritated because her DH and his father always need to go the loo as she's serving up the meal. They know she's cooking and a meal is planned, they could go so as to be ready to sit at the table.

[GreyishDays]

Was he annoyed at having to look after your daughter?

[Wannabangbang]

You shouldn't be asking to use the toilet or even have to announce it. What other ways is this man controlling?

[LizzieMacQueen]

To answer your question, no but then I don't generally announce when I'm going to the toilet. I'd agree with PP that this is controlling behaviour.

[JustC]

If this is not a wind up ( it just sounds so beyond weird ), I'd tell him to sod off and my biological needs are not on his schedule. WTAF?

[KaptainKaveman]

I'm sorry OP he sounds vile. In a thread from a few years ago you described how he told you to calorie count every day from a few weeks into your pregnancy so you didn't get fat. There's no way you should tolerate such abuse.

[BlusteryShowers]

@picklemewalnuts I think that would annoy me too if it was a habitual thing and they're taking a long time over it. Breastfeeding takes no notice of meal times though and can go on for ages so he definitely shouldn't be making any issue of it.

[Aerial2020]

Is this real?

[Bananalanacake]

No need to say what you're doing, just say, I'm off to the loo, then he can't worry about you taking ages. Though I usually say, just off to wash my hands, no one can object to that.

[Veterinari]

Why are you telling him about your toilet habits?

[Gobbycop]

Is he the poo police?

So weird, if one of us in our house needs a shit we go and have one.

Bizarre.

[NoMoreDickheads]

Why are you telling him about your toilet habits?

@Veterinari I assumed it was because she wanted him to watch the baby for 2 mins.

-

No OP, you know this isn't right. His sandwich isn't going anywhere so what's his problem with watching the kids for a min?

He sounds really stroppy and obstructive.

[pinkyredrose]

Say what OP?

[NoMoreDickheads]

Whatever the food he can do both things at once or turn it off the heat for a mo.

[YRGAM]

No, that's weird.

[TokyoSushi]

It is weird, but I can see both sides. If he's just made lunch and you're going to be 20 minutes, I can see why he's irritated, although there's not much you can do.

If you're just going to be a couple of minutes, why are you even telling him?

[anonnnnni]

You don’t need to post on an online forum to know this is weird. Inappropriate and weird.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

Well one of you is full of shit but I don't think it's you.