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Using the bathroom

(43 Posts)
MrsB12345 Thu 25-Jun-20 12:52:37

Does anyone else's partner get upset when they need to use the bathroom? It seems stupid to even be asking...

I needed a no 2 today and my husband was making our lunch. I'd been BFing our daughter and then said I needed a poop. He got really upset and said I always pick the worst times to go and end up taking ages (I don't usually except for the odd time where I want some alone time and it's the only place I can go for that)

Surely if I need to go I shouldn't feel I can't or have to hold it to a time that suits him better. Or have I completely misunderstood how things should work and his request is in fact ok to ask?!

For the record I never complain when he uses the bathroom

OP’s posts: |
Shoxfordian Thu 25-Jun-20 12:54:31

Obviously you should be able to use the bathroom whenever you need to

Does he try to control other things you do?

thisstooshallpass Thu 25-Jun-20 12:55:10

Why does he want you to hold your poo in?

KaptainKaveman Thu 25-Jun-20 12:57:19

How weird. A man who actively tries to get his own partner to become constipated.

NC4Now Thu 25-Jun-20 12:58:01

No, that is not a reasonable request!! My god, dictating when you can have a poo?!
That’s the most unreasonable thing I’ve read for a long time.

picklemewalnuts Thu 25-Jun-20 13:00:28

OP I searched your name in case you were a poo troll.

He was being unkind 3 years ago.

Has anything improved?

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 25-Jun-20 13:01:29

Indeed what he demanded is not at all reasonable. My guess too is that he is controlling of you in other ways as well sadly.

Why are you and he together at all?.

UltimateWednesday Thu 25-Jun-20 13:01:51

I think this entirely depends.

Obviously, on the face of it you should able to go whenever you please, but I'm saying that as someone who can be in and back within a minute or two, so in the situation you describe I'd have just gone without announcing what I was doing and been back before he could get the food on the table.

DH in the otherhand seems to have to schedule it into his day and it is annoying when he decides to go just as I'm dishing up dinner or we're about to get in the car.

FWIW announcing that you need to poop is odd behaviour IMO.

picklemewalnuts Thu 25-Jun-20 13:02:04

Specific to your question though, a friend gets irritated because her DH and his father always need to go the loo as she's serving up the meal. They know she's cooking and a meal is planned, they could go so as to be ready to sit at the table.

GreyishDays Thu 25-Jun-20 13:03:14

Was he annoyed at having to look after your daughter?

Wannabangbang Thu 25-Jun-20 13:04:37

You shouldn't be asking to use the toilet or even have to announce it. What other ways is this man controlling?

LizzieMacQueen Thu 25-Jun-20 13:04:52

To answer your question, no but then I don't generally announce when I'm going to the toilet. I'd agree with PP that this is controlling behaviour.

JustC Thu 25-Jun-20 13:05:25

If this is not a wind up ( it just sounds so beyond weird ), I'd tell him to sod off and my biological needs are not on his schedule. WTAF?

KaptainKaveman Thu 25-Jun-20 13:09:30

I'm sorry OP he sounds vile. In a thread from a few years ago you described how he told you to calorie count every day from a few weeks into your pregnancy so you didn't get fat. There's no way you should tolerate such abuse.

BlusteryShowers Thu 25-Jun-20 13:23:41

@picklemewalnuts I think that would annoy me too if it was a habitual thing and they're taking a long time over it. Breastfeeding takes no notice of meal times though and can go on for ages so he definitely shouldn't be making any issue of it.

Aerial2020 Thu 25-Jun-20 15:52:31

Is this real? shock

Bananalanacake Thu 25-Jun-20 15:57:31

No need to say what you're doing, just say, I'm off to the loo, then he can't worry about you taking ages. Though I usually say, just off to wash my hands, no one can object to that.

Veterinari Thu 25-Jun-20 16:03:55

Why are you telling him about your toilet habits?

Gobbycop Thu 25-Jun-20 16:06:50

Is he the poo police?

So weird, if one of us in our house needs a shit we go and have one.


NoMoreDickheads Thu 25-Jun-20 16:08:20

Why are you telling him about your toilet habits?

@Veterinari I assumed it was because she wanted him to watch the baby for 2 mins.


No OP, you know this isn't right. His sandwich isn't going anywhere so what's his problem with watching the kids for a min?

He sounds really stroppy and obstructive.

pinkyredrose Thu 25-Jun-20 16:09:22

Say what OP?

NoMoreDickheads Thu 25-Jun-20 16:09:25

Whatever the food he can do both things at once or turn it off the heat for a mo.

YRGAM Thu 25-Jun-20 16:09:30

No, that's weird.

TokyoSushi Thu 25-Jun-20 16:12:55

It is weird, but I can see both sides. If he's just made lunch and you're going to be 20 minutes, I can see why he's irritated, although there's not much you can do.

If you're just going to be a couple of minutes, why are you even telling him?

anonnnnni Thu 25-Jun-20 16:13:44

You don’t need to post on an online forum to know this is weird. Inappropriate and weird.

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