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Dating men who take hours to reply to messages after READING them?!

(42 Posts)
katiie3 Tue 23-Jun-20 18:36:08

Hi everyone

What are your thoughts on men who you are seeing/dating who will open and read your message but take hours to reply.

And many times, appear to be online but do not actively open your message or reply until hours later.

This is aimed towards people that actively use their WhatsApp all day but don’t reply back to your messages until hours later.

By this time the moment has passed and I’m not longer feeling as invested to carry on the conversation from 3 days ago.

For example, on some occasions, I will send a message during my lunch to catch up and I don’t get a reply until late evening 8/9pm or the next morning.

Is this low interest?

OP’s posts: |
Bunnymumy Tue 23-Jun-20 18:42:13

Wouldn't bother me .
Unless the message was like 'are we still meeting tomorrow?' Ect... and they took ages to reply.

Bunnymumy Tue 23-Jun-20 18:43:46

I save myself the hastle and don't use texting for conversation purposes too often if i can help it though.

katiie3 Tue 23-Jun-20 18:48:47

Recently one of the messages was regarding a bank transaction. I wanted to confirm he had received the transaction. Read the message but no reply.

Also, he returned to work recently, so asked about how his first day back was after 14 weeks of shielding. No reply.

OP’s posts: |
AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit Tue 23-Jun-20 19:01:44

If he wants to make time for you - he will.

Bunnymumy Tue 23-Jun-20 19:01:58

Seems like either he is a bit of a dick or just not that interested.

Dont send him any more dosh that's for sure!

BumbleBeee69 Tue 23-Jun-20 19:38:56

I read messages.. on the move.. but respond when I am able.. if that makes sense.. sometimes it can be several hours later ... not sure that helps though sorry flowers

Jennifer2r Tue 23-Jun-20 19:44:24

Why does it matter what we think?

Jennifer2r Tue 23-Jun-20 19:45:44

Sorry, I didn't mean that to sound so antagonistic. My thoughts are 'that's the kind of man I'm looking for'. But that's not helpful to you, obviously you want someone more communicative?

DeeCeeCherry Tue 23-Jun-20 19:48:44

Men who are interested in women will pick up the phone, they want to hear your voice and chat with you. The ones that stick to messaging, especially the ones who don't engage in back-and-forth messaging at least some of the time, aren't that interested in you. Do you really want a relationship that revolves around waiting for a man's text reply? Ok if you just want something casual and have the time to wait around I suppose.

Crystalspider Tue 23-Jun-20 20:00:42

You may not get a message all day as they be busy at work etc, people use WhatsApp for work which may explain why they are online, to get one back in the evening is a good sign they're interested although more than 24 hours then I start to think it's because they're not interested, inconsistent messages I stop bothering with, move on and wait for someone that syncs with you.

Crystalspider Tue 23-Jun-20 20:06:12

Why are you sending money to a guy you're chatting to? Sorry if I've missed something

StrangeTimes Tue 23-Jun-20 20:15:52

Because they're not that into you! Seriously if someone is "into" you, they want to communicate. They look forward to your texts. If they can't be assed getting back to you, they just ain't that init you.

katiie3 Tue 23-Jun-20 20:21:49

@Crystalspider not sending money.

OP’s posts: |
LudaMusser Tue 23-Jun-20 20:23:13

I've edited my settings so ppl can't see if I've read messages. WhatsApp is a stalker app

Joker123 Tue 23-Jun-20 20:24:12

I can’t stand it and I think it’s rude.

DKanin Tue 23-Jun-20 20:26:44

I can't stand this either and I think it's incredibly rude. Particularly reminds me of my ex who's phone was glued to his hand but couldn't be bothered to reply to my messages (even if a response was required quickly or I was in the shop asking what he wanted for dinner) nowadays, if it's a clear and established pattern of behaviour from people who are always fiddling with their phones, I assume they don't make that much effort and steer clear of them

backseatcookers Tue 23-Jun-20 20:28:00

Recently one of the messages was regarding a bank transaction. I wanted to confirm he had received the transaction.

If you didn't send him money then why did you ask this? You don't have to answer of course but if someone I was dating asked me about my finances or checked if I had received a payment from someone else not associated with them I would find it intrusive.

Aside from this specific instance I think it's a compatibility thing, if someone is a quick and frequent texter then someone who prefers sporadic ones or doesn't usually have time to message back quickly then it's not going to work for them and vice versa.

katiie3 Tue 23-Jun-20 20:38:42

@backseatcookers he sells limited edition Marvel figures. It was an item purchased for a family members wedding anniversary.

OP’s posts: |
anotherdisaster Tue 23-Jun-20 20:43:56

Personally I would assume they're not that bothered. Yes of course there are times when people are busy and don't get the chance but if someone is doing it frequently, i would assume they're not that interested. When you first start to chat to someone, that is when you try to make the effort.
There is a fine line however, between constant messaging and feeling like you are dragging a reply out of them.

katiie3 Tue 23-Jun-20 20:47:28

I’m not emphasising they need to constantly talk via texts through the day. I mean, being left on read when you have asked or stipulated something that needs to be addressed.

It’s just annoying to be left on read or someone coming back 3 days later. It’s just weird as I don’t see it as a big deal to reply to someone I’m conversing in a conversation with.

OP’s posts: |
BattyBettysBiccy Tue 23-Jun-20 21:14:30


Recently one of the messages was regarding a bank transaction. I wanted to confirm he had received the transaction. Read the message but no reply.

Also, he returned to work recently, so asked about how his first day back was after 14 weeks of shielding. No reply.

How long have you known him?

ThirtyAndASmidgen Tue 23-Jun-20 21:22:27

I can’t stand it either, and I don’t tolerate it. How on earth can you start to build a relationship that way?

Lilt1992 Tue 23-Jun-20 21:25:46

I'd just ring them if I needed them to respond to me

ruthieness Tue 23-Jun-20 21:26:47

the advice i give my daughters is not to send a text until double the time has elapsed since he last replied to you - so if he takes 3 hours to reply - you take 6 hours to message again ...... maybe write the text but do not press send -
do NOT always instantly reply and then be back on tenterhooks awaiting a reply - i appreciate that this is not the situation you are describing and obviously this does not work if you are trying to sort out specific arrangements with a timescale.

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