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How important do you think saying "I love you" is in a relationship......

(18 Posts)
TheQueenOfQuotes Tue 25-Sep-07 12:22:39

and do you think that a relationship can be a "loving" one without those words actually being spoken??

hertsnessex Tue 25-Sep-07 12:23:49

it can def be loving - but its nice to hear those words.

Charlee Tue 25-Sep-07 12:23:50

I think it a relationship can be very loving even without the words.

Actions speak louder than words and all that. smile

DP doesn't actually say it often but does loads of things that show me he loves me.

kerrykatona Tue 25-Sep-07 12:24:20

i think its more important to show you love someone rather than to say it. dh tells me he loves me everyday and it kind of feels like routine to me now. i'm not really that kind of person and only say it occasionally.

mazzystar Tue 25-Sep-07 12:24:37

of course it can
i say it a lot. dh is more the strong silent ie repressed type
but i feel loved nonetheless

TheQueenOfQuotes Tue 25-Sep-07 12:27:19

grin - I was hoping that was the response I would get - as that's what I was thinking this morning.

DH and I are now getting along brilliantly again (we even went to bed at the same time last night wink wink) and I was wondering this morning how "necessary" it was for those words to be spoken when the actions that are made are really loving.

Hulababy Tue 25-Sep-07 12:27:44

Can definitely be loving without the words being said, providing the actions speak for themselves. It is nice to hear and say the words to though.

expatinscotland Tue 25-Sep-07 12:29:43

Nowhere near as important as showing that to your partner, every day, through your actions.

I used to say I'd rather have respect than love, now I know they are one and the same.

DH is not one to say it, he doesn't have to. He shows me all the time.

mytwopenceworth Tue 25-Sep-07 12:30:00

Course it can. Actions speak louder than words as Charlee said. It's those little gestures that make you feel loved.

I mean, it's nice when it's said, but often it's said out of habit, not out of feeling, iyswim.

"See you later, love ya" means less than a cup of tea brought to you in bed without you asking, iyswim.

cosmicdancer Tue 25-Sep-07 12:32:24

I agree with mytwopenceworth that loving is an action.
You can say the words all you like but it's how you treat the other person that counts.

MaryBleedinPoppins Tue 25-Sep-07 12:33:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Acinonyx Tue 25-Sep-07 15:06:17

I find this very difficult to say - much more than dh. But I have recently made an effort to get into a habit of saying it to dd (26 mo). It felt very odd at first but I'm getting the hang of it. She doesn't say it back - although she has started picking up toys and saying that they love her! Jill

Mumzarello Tue 25-Sep-07 15:09:58

I agree is much more important that you show it rather than say it. I agree with Kerrykatona - if you say it alot it sort of loses some of the impact.
Actions speak louder than words..

anniemac Tue 25-Sep-07 15:11:51

Message withdrawn

FCH Tue 25-Sep-07 15:14:02

Well, DH says this all the time, which is nice, but I have to admit it really does not mean as much as all the things he does that show me that he loves me. I also find that occasionally "I love you" is supposed to act as some sort of instant cure all for whatever he has done to piss me off rather than a genuine declaration of affection. If you feel loved that is the important thingwink

bubblagirl Tue 25-Sep-07 15:16:06

my dp sys love you all the time but sometimes his actions dont speak it if you know what i mean i think you can have a great relationship with lots of love and attention shown to you but i think deep down we want it all the words as well as actions as we all want to be and feel loved

some people dont do them words well but doesn't mean they dont love you and if they show you love and you know they dont say them words easily i think that feels nice as you know its there way of showing you love

anniemac Tue 25-Sep-07 15:17:01

Message withdrawn

anniemac Tue 25-Sep-07 15:18:34

Message withdrawn

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