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Friend hiding her renewed relationship from me

(7 Posts)
joyandhappiness Mon 22-Jun-20 10:07:33

A friend's (lets call her Katy) BF broke up with her over xmas, apparently they just wanted different things, and I spent hours and hours listening to how devastated she was, how he was the 'one' etc. Last week I found out from a mutual friend that Katy got back with her ex a couple of months ago (I think there was some bending of lockdown rules).

Whilst I'm happy for Katy, I'm also hurt that she hasn't mentioned that they are back together. All the way through the break up conversations I was careful never to bad mouth the ex, and I can't think of a reason why she wouldn't think I would be supportive. I have spoken to Katy since I found out but haven't told her I know she is back with ex because if she doesn't want to tell me then i don't think it is my place to force the issue. However, it kind of makes me skeptical about everything she says at the moment.

I know that she must have a reason for not telling me but aibu to be feeling hurt by this? I think I am hurt because i found out from someone else and also because I invested a lot of time in hearing about the break up but now she's not prepared to share good news with me.

OP’s posts: |
ClementineTangerine Mon 22-Jun-20 10:10:25

No not unreasonable to feel hurt,

Could she be holding back because she knows she broke lockdown rules and so doesnt want to feel "in trouble" with you for that?

MarkRuffaloCrumble Mon 22-Jun-20 10:13:13

I imagine she’s just embarrassed that after all that, she’s giving him another go (and as PP said, also breaking lockdown to boot!).

I’d just casually say next time you talk “why didn’t you tell me you were back with xx? You know that as your friend I just want you to be happy, so if he makes you happy, that’s all that matters” and try to mean it grin

Loveabitofrain Mon 22-Jun-20 18:10:38

I agree she is likely embarrassed. I’ve been there! Try not to take it personally x

NoMoreDickheads Mon 22-Jun-20 18:57:46

She's probably embarrassed, as PP's said

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit Mon 22-Jun-20 19:11:24

I split up with someone amicably in February, I've told all my friends I never want to talk about it. They have respected it because they know how private I am. If I got back with him (I won't but...) I would not be telling ANYONE for a good while, until I was highly confident that any previous issues had been fully ironed out. Who needs their failures in a fish bowl?

chickadeedeedee Mon 22-Jun-20 19:37:45

I've been your friend.

Just leave her be. She will tell you in her own time

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