Hi,
So today I found out my dad had died...in November. I had only seen him once in my life when I was a teenager.
He wasn’t nice to my mum before she had me, Infact he was pretty damn evil. When I was old enough my mum let me decide for myself and I decided to meet him. I didn’t really feel anything for him as I was still a teenager and I resented him for abandoning me and hurting mum.
Fast forward 15 years, we lost contact again but last year he messaged me telling me how sorry he was, how time was previous and he wanted a relationship with me and to make things right. There was a lot of messages but I ignored them - I had a child of my own now and I couldn’t get past the fact that he had abandoned me.
Today I went on his social media and found out he had passed away Xmas time. I am so heartbroken and I don’t know why, I feel guilt that I ignored him when he was clearly trying to tell me he was ill and sadness that I am never going to get the chance to put things right.
I know I shouldn’t feel this devastated over a man I didn’t know and had no part in raising me and was so horrible to my mum but I am in bits. I’ve just looked at his messages again and I can’t stop crying.
What do I do and why do I feel like this, I feel like a fraud for grieving over a man I didn’t know.
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My dad died
11 replies
Ginandbitterlemonplease · 21/06/2020 22:56
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