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How to make new "sociable" friends in your 30s?

(23 Posts)
parentofteen Sun 21-Jun-20 18:43:33

I'm in my early 30s, and whilst I love my friends dearly, we have quite different interests.

They are all quite settled whereas I'm a bit more "adventurous" - I still want to go to festivals, out to nice bars at the weekend, away to gigs/concerts etc. My friends are mostly happy with a monthly meet up for dinner.

I'd really enjoy making some new friends who have similar interests to me but I don't know where to start.

Has anyone ever made new friends "later in life" and if so - where did you find them?!

OP’s posts: |
Calabasa Sun 21-Jun-20 19:09:11

Hobby/interest group smile

Got roped into going along to a local meet by the one person i actually knew, and introduced to everyone else.

I also volunteered at a few events where people i had met online were going, so got to meet them in person.

I've ended up with 2 whole new friendship groups!

parentofteen Sun 21-Jun-20 19:29:43

Can I ask what hobby it was? I've honestly got no idea where to start!

OP’s posts: |
Andwoooshtheyweregone Sun 21-Jun-20 19:31:04

Have you tried asking your friends if they want to go to a festival ect? They may surprise you

parentofteen Sun 21-Jun-20 19:34:26

@Andwoooshtheyweregone sadly, yes. They aren't interested / can't get childcare for that many days / don't want to leave their children for that many days.

OP’s posts: |
TumbledGlass Sun 21-Jun-20 19:38:23

Have you joined any forums or Facebook groups for the bands or genres you're interested in?

Oblomov20 Sun 21-Jun-20 19:40:38

All my friends go away a lot. For a long weekend, 4 or 4 days, to Berlin, Dubrovnik etc. Football mums went away for 4 days. All have teens and/or pre-teens. But we are all 10 years older than you. Is it because they've all got young children?

How old are you dc?

minielise Sun 21-Jun-20 19:43:40

I know how you feel! My friends are the kind of people to say yes to everything, but then when it comes to actually booking it’s always oh I will do it next week and we never go! When we go on nights out they also want a set plan rather than just going with it! I don’t know where to meet new people though at my age because I’m early 30s too

willsa Sun 21-Jun-20 20:00:29

I think it's very much like dating. A numbers game.
Go to gigs, clubs, festivals and pubs (alone if need be) and talk to as many people there as possible, some of them will be on your wavelength. Don't be shy to ask for phone numbers, establish contact soon.
And live in a city.

I'm in the same boat due to moving around a lot. The lockdown has messed everything up and put a big fat stop on my life. That is the biggest problem at the moment!

Tabithha Sun 21-Jun-20 20:07:24

I’m not in my thirties but wanted to expand my social group a little. I’ve made lovely friends on meet-up and bumble bff. I prefer bumble bff as friendship is the goal whereas meet-up is mainly for general events

Andwoooshtheyweregone Sun 21-Jun-20 20:11:55

@parentofteen that’s such a shame I’m a mum in my 30s and go away for girls weekends, festival weekends! I love it just because I’m a parent it doesn’t mean I’m not me. Hope you find your people.

Needtogetbackinthesack Sun 21-Jun-20 20:15:12

Which approximate area do you live in? You sound like just what I'm looking for! I also find I have some amazing mum friends but they aren't really into the crazy things I want to do. Though I am going to a festival with one next year, but I'd like to do more of that kind of stuff

parentofteen Sun 21-Jun-20 20:21:37

@oblomov20 some of them do have younger DC, so it is partially to do with the difference in ages of DC (I had mine fairly young and stuck at one).

@minielise yes, your experience sounds so similar to my own. It gets to the point where you kind of give up suggesting anything beyond dinner, planned 6 weeks in advance!

If you're in the East Midlands and want a new pal, I'm here! @needstogetbackinthesack

@tabithha thanks - I will try Bumble BFF - hadn't heard of that before smile

OP’s posts: |
minielise Sun 21-Jun-20 22:00:28

I’ve never heard of bumble bff, I’m going to look into it now too! It’s funny because I have a lot of friends that I’m really close to and have had them forever - we just aren’t into the same things!

Tabithha Sun 21-Jun-20 23:11:45

You’re welcome! I really recommend bumble. It’s a nice safe space with lots of lovely women looking to make friends. You get the odd guy trying their luck 🙄 but I just block and ignore. I’ve made a few more friends on there during lockdown which has been lovely as we have our face to face meeting to look forward to once more things open

jaffa678 Sun 21-Jun-20 23:20:53

You sound exactly the same as me, I'm 30 with a 4 year old DD and I've realised that none of my friends want to go out in adventures anymore! I want to go festivals holidays etc when my little girl is with her dad! I've never heard of bumble but should defintley give it a try. Where about do you live OP?

RememberTheSunnierDays Sun 21-Jun-20 23:26:49

When I moved to a new city and didn’t know anyone I joined meet up - it’s an app or website and free. loads of different groups meet regularly, variety of activities. Might be a start.

RememberTheSunnierDays Sun 21-Jun-20 23:27:34

www.meetup.com/

Might be slow at the moment.

AndTheClockStopped Mon 22-Jun-20 05:07:28

Ah tell me about it, OP! I'm 45 and it doesn't get any better or any easier...

I seem to have very different interests to a lot of women my age and sometimes and it can be difficult.

I started Lindy Hop classes in my 30s - diverse range of ages, interests and backgrounds. Loads of swing dance festivals and some really genuinely lovely people. I had lessons for around 18 months 5 years ago and still have good friends I made through it.

I go to festivals on my own and often get talking to people (I prefer the smaller ones to the huge commercial ones).

I started going to a local pub when they had live bands on I was interested in hearing - made some good drinking buddies along the way but found a few gems in amongst them too.

I play bass so I joined a couple of bands and we practise and gig regularly. Or we did...

Unless your interests are very 'middle of the road' (which seems to include - watching TV; drinking gin; shopping; and going on spa days - none of which I do!) it's always harder.

Rainbowshine Mon 22-Jun-20 11:32:31

Have you looked at Gig Buddies? It won’t be that active right now but might be worth a try.

jimmyjammy001 Mon 22-Jun-20 14:35:38

Unfortunately the friends pool in your 30s get smaller as people settle down and have kids and just stay in because they can't be bothered anymore, with current friends every time you suggest something they are up for it, but when it comes to committing to a date then the excuses all come out, may have to join some activity clubs to meet new people, I hear running clubs are good for meeting new people.

user068727 Mon 22-Jun-20 15:30:05

Seconding running club here - look at results for local parkruns or races and see which club has people in both the last 10 and first 10 and a good range of ages and check them out.
People get used to going places for running and so it's easier to dig out a few folks for other trips.

Desmondo2016 Mon 22-Jun-20 19:28:50

Have a baby! Best friendship group I ever made!

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