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Where is my sex drive??(10 Posts)
Hi everyone. I realise I've posted under the wrong topic but I haven't been a member long enough to post under the sex topics! It is all in the title really? Been with DH for 5 years. And recently my sex drive has massively plummeted. I've never had a big sex drive anyway but recently I feel its worse than ever. He's so patient and so understanding about it but I can't help but feel we are missing out on intimate closeness. What also doesn't help is that I struggle to reach orgasm, have done since I was about 17.And I'm not very confident in my body image. So to me it seems like so much effort. Please tell me im not alone in this? I love DH so much and we are close but I feel this is going to possibly effect us down the line? We do it once a week if not 2 weeks. Please help 😞😞❤️
How old are you and are you on the pill, that can mess it up.
@madcatladyforever funny you mention the pill. I had a pregnancy scare at 16 and then got put on the pill. And it was after I started that I felt the orgasm part just absolutely went down hill. But I've been on and off it the last few years and I came off back in April. Still no change. Just so odd haha! Thank you for your response xxx
@category12 Hm I guess not. It's just I hear of some of my friends who do it far more than that and I just wonder whats going on with me you know? Xx
@madcatladyforever forgot to mention I've just turned 29 ❤️❤️
Sorry you're having issues but the good and amazing thing is your hubby is understanding.
I would suggest some tips which helped me:
- take up some gentle exercise during the week. It can be short to start with. It will help you with two things: help you get fit, which helps with body image issue, and also release good hormones which again will help you
- do some pelvic floor exercises. They are so so easy and you can do it whenever you remember. It REALLY helps. Do some research on it if you don't believe me!
- try to extend the part before DTD. Just focus on having a good, close bonding without the pressure for anything else. You can decide if you feel up to it. I feel it helps as there is no expectation
I hope I helped.
Can you be sure your friends are being honest and not just exaggerating?
I came off back in April. Still no change
That's not all that long really.
I think, as you mentioned contributes with you, body image can make a big difference to whether you want to be seen naked/have sex etc. I know it does with me, anyway.
As to struggling to orgasm after about 17- that's a shame. Did you have some unpleasant experiences around that time that might've put you off? I suppose the pregnancy scare wouldn'tve helped.
A lot of women struggle to orgasm, you're normal. You could try using a Magic Wand toy by yourself and with your partner. www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/magic-wand-vibrators/ Or some other toy if you see one you like the look of.
The people who have (or pretend to have) a love life they can boast about will mention it. Those who aren't as active or satisfied don't tend to mention it, so what you hear doesn't give a balanced picture.
I have an ok sex life with myself but CBA having a partner. The stuff you have to do for a partner sexually can be unpleasant and/or a chore, and men can be disrespectful one way or another.
How do you feel about your husband? How is your relationship in general?
I think you need to allow time for your body to “settle” after a longer period off the pill. Hormonal contraception does not suit me.
Make sure you are sorted re contraception though, quality sex is not helped by worry of unwanted pregnancy.
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