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Where is my sex drive??

(10 Posts)
WineLover1234 Fri 19-Jun-20 22:59:48

Hi everyone. I realise I've posted under the wrong topic but I haven't been a member long enough to post under the sex topics! It is all in the title really? Been with DH for 5 years. And recently my sex drive has massively plummeted. I've never had a big sex drive anyway but recently I feel its worse than ever. He's so patient and so understanding about it but I can't help but feel we are missing out on intimate closeness. What also doesn't help is that I struggle to reach orgasm, have done since I was about 17.And I'm not very confident in my body image. So to me it seems like so much effort. Please tell me im not alone in this? I love DH so much and we are close but I feel this is going to possibly effect us down the line? We do it once a week if not 2 weeks. Please help 😞😞❤️

OP’s posts: |
category12 Fri 19-Jun-20 23:08:32

Once a week doesn't seem that bad?

madcatladyforever Fri 19-Jun-20 23:09:46

How old are you and are you on the pill, that can mess it up.

WineLover1234 Fri 19-Jun-20 23:14:18

@madcatladyforever funny you mention the pill. I had a pregnancy scare at 16 and then got put on the pill. And it was after I started that I felt the orgasm part just absolutely went down hill. But I've been on and off it the last few years and I came off back in April. Still no change. Just so odd haha! Thank you for your response xxx

@category12 Hm I guess not. It's just I hear of some of my friends who do it far more than that and I just wonder whats going on with me you know? Xx

OP’s posts: |
WineLover1234 Fri 19-Jun-20 23:14:54

@madcatladyforever forgot to mention I've just turned 29 ❤️❤️

OP’s posts: |
Mysleepingangel Fri 19-Jun-20 23:20:35


Sorry you're having issues but the good and amazing thing is your hubby is understanding.

I would suggest some tips which helped me:

- take up some gentle exercise during the week. It can be short to start with. It will help you with two things: help you get fit, which helps with body image issue, and also release good hormones which again will help you smile

- do some pelvic floor exercises. They are so so easy and you can do it whenever you remember. It REALLY helps. Do some research on it if you don't believe me!

- try to extend the part before DTD. Just focus on having a good, close bonding without the pressure for anything else. You can decide if you feel up to it. I feel it helps as there is no expectation smile

I hope I helped.

Scott72 Fri 19-Jun-20 23:22:25

Can you be sure your friends are being honest and not just exaggerating?

NoMoreDickheads Fri 19-Jun-20 23:38:55

I came off back in April. Still no change

That's not all that long really.

I think, as you mentioned contributes with you, body image can make a big difference to whether you want to be seen naked/have sex etc. I know it does with me, anyway.

As to struggling to orgasm after about 17- that's a shame. sad Did you have some unpleasant experiences around that time that might've put you off? I suppose the pregnancy scare wouldn'tve helped.

A lot of women struggle to orgasm, you're normal. You could try using a Magic Wand toy by yourself and with your partner. Or some other toy if you see one you like the look of.

The people who have (or pretend to have) a love life they can boast about will mention it. Those who aren't as active or satisfied don't tend to mention it, so what you hear doesn't give a balanced picture.

I have an ok sex life with myself but CBA having a partner. The stuff you have to do for a partner sexually can be unpleasant and/or a chore, and men can be disrespectful one way or another.

How do you feel about your husband? How is your relationship in general?

StarlightLady Sat 20-Jun-20 07:11:54

I think you need to allow time for your body to “settle” after a longer period off the pill. Hormonal contraception does not suit me.

Make sure you are sorted re contraception though, quality sex is not helped by worry of unwanted pregnancy.

Radfemmum69 Sat 20-Jun-20 07:48:59

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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