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Husband dragged me, is that acceptable?

(106 Posts)
opmamatrist Thu 18-Jun-20 23:26:21

So my brother in law is due to get married in August (which likely will be delayed due to pandemic), I personally have outfits for the wedding and won't be buying anything however my mother in law would like to travel to Manchester to shop for wedding outfits. I have a one year old baby who I breastfeed and so I haven't really travelled very far since having him due to not feeling comfy feeding him in public. So I've said I don't want to go and my husband went ballistic, accused me of always causing problems when it comes to doing things with his family. I got fed up of arguing and went into bed and he dragged me out and chucked me on the floor to carry on talking. I don't think it's appropriate to travel unnecessarily during the pandemic and do not want to put my baby at risk hence I said no, is that so unreasonable? Should I be going out like normal? I haven't been to a shop since February!

OP’s posts: |
Aerial2020 Thu 18-Jun-20 23:30:20

Oh my goodness, the going to shops is the last thing to be worried about [shock after what you have just wrote.
He dragged you out on the floor????
The rest of the post is irrelevant.

Bunnymumy Thu 18-Jun-20 23:30:50

Holy shit.

Leave him.

He is a total lunatic.
And a danger to you and your baby.

TwentyViginti Thu 18-Jun-20 23:32:06

Do you have family you can go to OP? This man is highly dangerous. Fuck shops and weddings.

gamerchick Thu 18-Jun-20 23:32:16

Forget the row. He's assaulted you OP. Are you ok?

Mosseywossey Thu 18-Jun-20 23:32:54

Call the police that is assault

Notasyoungasiwas Thu 18-Jun-20 23:33:26

Aerial beat me to it - not going to the shops is not the issue. He dragged you out of bed onto the floor!

SandyY2K Thu 18-Jun-20 23:33:44

he dragged me out and chucked me on the floor to carry on talking.

I'd be considering my future with a man like this.

You do know this is assault/domestic violence and could call the police.

If he gets away with it this time he'll do it again. Has he ever done anything like this before?

RightOnTheEdge Thu 18-Jun-20 23:34:20

No! It's absolutely not acceptable to treat you like that OP. I hope you are OK.
Are you safe now?

YANBU about travelling for shopping either but that's not really the important thing!

Didiusfalco Thu 18-Jun-20 23:34:34

Yes, what they all said. Forget about the shops. He’s an abusive arsehole. Get out of there.

benadrylcucumberpatch Thu 18-Jun-20 23:34:56

Did this just happen OP? Where is he now?

What he did is unacceptable. Had this kind of thing happened before?

Burpalot Thu 18-Jun-20 23:36:05

Really? Not sure anyone who can write in full sentences thinks this is ok . reported

wildcherries Thu 18-Jun-20 23:36:55

What the fuck. Completely unacceptable. That's assault. Are you safe now?

LovingLola Thu 18-Jun-20 23:39:00

Your husband is abusive.

wildcherries Thu 18-Jun-20 23:39:13

I'm concerned you think the shopping issue is even remotely important compared your husband dragging you out of bed to continue an argument.

copperoliver Thu 18-Jun-20 23:39:32

He only do that once if he was my husband. He'd be out the window and he wouldn't be getting back in. X

Runnerduck34 Thu 18-Jun-20 23:40:14

No its not acceptable, Im so sorry , you need to leave him. Lots of others on here will be able to give good advice, do you have anyone to talk to in RL? You did nothing wrong, i hope you are ok

Zoey92 Thu 18-Jun-20 23:40:33

Leave him.

opmamatrist Thu 18-Jun-20 23:41:45

I'm fine, tbh it didn't hurt me but it did scare me. He doesn't get angry very often, he is usually very nice tbh. Of course when we argue I can't stand him but he's never hit me. He's in the spare room now and we've just left the convo. I told him I only want to speak to him with my parents there so he can tell them why it's acceptable to drag me out of bed and see how they feel about that - which is hard given the current sito yes but I would go to live with my parents if things didn't work out and I want them to see that I didn't just let things go for the sake of it. I do feel he makes a big deal
Out of things and it's usually my mil that is the root of all our big issues in the past but he of course does not see that.

OP’s posts: |
Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches Thu 18-Jun-20 23:41:48

Dragging is absolutely awful and downright abusive.

You absolutely have to get rid of him.

IamnotlikeDolores Thu 18-Jun-20 23:41:51

he dragged me out and chucked me on the floor to carry on talking.

No. He will do it again. It will escalate. Next time he might really injure you. Leave him now!
I have first hand experience of that.

Voice0fReason Thu 18-Jun-20 23:41:52

This is only the start. It will never improve, it will only get worse.
Please take steps to make yourself safe.
You deserve better than this.

lillypainter Thu 18-Jun-20 23:43:04

This is not ok as everyone has said it is abusive and he is trying to control you. Absolutely your choice, he doesn't have a right to demand what you do, especially in these circumstances. You took yourself off to bed then he followed and escalated it. That's a really bad sign. I would be scared and making a plan to get out of this relationship.

CucumberTree Thu 18-Jun-20 23:46:21

OP, what everyone else has said lovely. The shopping isn’t your issues it’s the dragging you out of bed. Please tell your parents or someone in real life via text tonight, so you are safe and someone knows what has happened. Lockdown or not, you are legally allowed to go to a friends/relatives house to stay in the middle of the night to escape abuse.

johnd2 Thu 18-Jun-20 23:48:56

He doesn't do it often because he only needs to do it occasionally to keep the threat of it hanging over you.
What is the power balance on your relationship? Should be maintained close to 50:50.
If one person can use physical actions to scare the other it's no longer close to 50:50

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