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why do i feel like this

(12 Posts)
slapme Mon 24-Sep-07 18:14:50


slapme Mon 24-Sep-07 18:14:57

ok, i am a regular but changed names for obvious reasons.

get invited to a party at the w/end, she is a good mate, and i had a thing with a member of her family who i know is going to be there. this was 7yrs ago.

this was just b4 i got with my now dh.

me and her family member liked each other for ages, wrote to each other (he was away working) and when he used to come back we would alwys flirt.

things came to a head dec 99 when we saw in ny eve together - kissed, had sex, this carried on for a few weeks before he went back to work.

even though we had been in touch before all this, i didnt write again, guess i didnt know what to say, but knew i loved him. i know he had feelings for me because said friend told me, but its not something we discussed.

in different circumstances (him not working away) mostly i know we would have got it together properly.

so, over the yrs i have thought of him a bit and heard what he was upto through ner, but hadnt seen him. no closure.

see him at the weekend, we are both married with kids, and all the old feelings come rushing back, i cant get this guy out of my head. there were a few 'looks' across the table etc.

now im not stupid enough to do anything about this, but i cant stop thinknig about him.

how do i stop?

my dh even said what a great guy he seemed (he does know about things yrs ago - but not the strength of my feelings for him then) - and my ds was palying with his ds and dh said we should invite them all over sometime - obviously this is not going to happen.

anyone else been here?

fawkeoff Mon 24-Sep-07 18:19:31

awww hun idont know what to say to u )))))HUG{{{{{ do you want a piece of choccie???

slapme Mon 24-Sep-07 18:22:01

choc sounds good.

i just want to stop thinking about him. sad

fawkeoff Mon 24-Sep-07 18:23:33

it's obviously the "what if" shit that isgoing on in your head isnt it.Would you really want your life any other way?????

slapme Mon 24-Sep-07 18:25:13

no, id not give up my boys for anything. i guess it is the 'what if' thing going on. i love my dh, but with him it was something different, but perhaps thats because we never really had a 'relationship' per se, and lets face it, the 'lust' goes once youve been washing their pants for yrs!

fawkeoff Mon 24-Sep-07 18:30:30

i understand that the crush's wife feels like that too you know wink i think your having a " my life is in a rut and what if i was with him??? would it have been better???" you know the answer hun

slapme Mon 24-Sep-07 18:34:36

crushs wife knows nothing about this - which i am glad of as it would have made things v awkward.

seeing him made me feel alive again.

i think i need to get out more - been out twice on my own (no dh, just me am ates) since boys were born nrly 5yrs ago. i work, but thats not a social life.

i think i need a confidence boost.

thanks FO, we have been on other threads before, appreciate your advice. do i stop thinking about him........

fawkeoff Mon 24-Sep-07 18:38:09

no worries hun x why dont you try and get a there anyone who would have dc for you??? if do why dont you and dh go on a date???.ireally understand what you mean about having no social and dp got into a rut and i felt as if we were just existing together and not really being in a relationship.We took time out to do things together and kind of get to know each other again as kids and work can just make you forget the things that really matter i will shut up now and leave u alone grin

fawkeoff Mon 24-Sep-07 18:39:41

sorry just one more thing.....i meant that crushes wife will prob feel the same about washing his dirty trolleys the same way you do about dh's.

slapme Mon 24-Sep-07 18:40:34

thanks FO.

no babysitter at the mo, but agree we need to get out more, been out 6 times (no joke) on our own since boys born.

but i think i need some 'me' freedom aswell. which DH would never have a prob with, i just hanvet done it through sheer exhaustion!

will get my arse back to the gym, and open the wine again!!!!!!

thank you FO. xxxxxxxx

slapme Mon 24-Sep-07 18:42:26

Fo, totally agree, crushs wife must feel the same!!!!

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