Contact - AIBU

[Teatwosugars88]

Exp and I have a 20 month old DC, currently exp lives 50 miles away with no intention on moving closer.

He has taken me to court as he wants to have dc every weekend Friday - Sunday or Saturday - Sunday. I said this wouldn't be fair as I wouldn't get any 'fun' time with DC and especially when dc goes to school they'll be missing out on spending time with their cousins and extended family. I suggested eow (either on or two nights) and one night in the week if he thinks he can continue to do this into the school years. Exp doesn't want to do this as he works in the city Monday to Friday and couldn't drop DC on weekdays.

AiBU, and would court go for every weekend considering the distance?

[Fidgety31]

Court won’t give all weekend every weekend to the dad .
Courts are supposed to work in the best interests of the child (regardless of what the parent wants ) The child has the right to spend family time with you too .

[illclapwheniminpressed]

My ex asked for this because in the past he had had every weekend but only because I wasn't working and the dc were small.
Once they went to school and I worked court said No.

You have to be able to do activities with your dc too and as much as he wants time weekend is the time you goes to family or outings.

How old is your dc?

[illclapwheniminpressed]

Sorry op just saw age 🤦🏽‍♀️

Are you putting your dc in to nursery? Are you going back to work in the week?

I ask because your dc won't be going to school for a while and they may suggest that he has that arrangement up until - they may not saying they will. But if this happens it would be hard to change that contact plan for the dc after a year.

[FenellaVelour]

But if this happens it would be hard to change that contact plan for the dc after a year.

Not at all - if it came to court they’d look at the best interests of the children, and it should be recognised that these needs and interests will change as a child gets older. I can’t imagine any court would consider continuation of an “every weekend” arrangement to be appropriate when children are at school, they need quality leisure/family time with both parents.

You may wish to start as you mean to go on, though, and I wouldn’t imagine that would be considered unreasonable either.

[yesterdaystotalsteps123]

Has he just threatened court to get his own way? I thought you had to attend mediation before court (with the exception of DV situations), as court is a 'last resort' not something to threaten parents with. If he's trying to threaten you offering eow and a night in the week is reasonable, make sure you have email evidence

[FenellaVelour]

I thought you had to attend mediation before court (with the exception of DV situations)

This is true but in theory some courts just don’t seem to be too bothered whether people do or not.

[FenellaVelour]

Sorry meant it’s true in theory but...