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Please, please, someone talk to me

(243 Posts)

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KeeOe Mon 15-Jun-20 18:13:31

I've posted about my marriage problems and subsequent separation here Today, I feel so, so low. I've been using my workplaces employee assistance line to speak to counsellors, who are good, but seem to have limited time for each call. I feel absolutely desperate. I have very little RL support. I feel worse not better. I cannot see a way through how I'm feeling at the minute. I have never felt so bad. I don't know where to turn.

OP’s posts: |
Youngatheart00 Mon 15-Jun-20 18:16:30

I know it will be tough for you right now. Any relationship / marital breakdown is so incredibly tough. Counsellors can’t take the pain away.

My advice (non professional but human to human) is that you need to ride the pain out. Take it hour by hour. Do little things that make you happy. Fresh air, Bath, candles, nice glass of wine, a good book or comforting tv series. Hour by hour. Day by day. There will be battles but you’ll get through it.

Sending best wishes and positive vibes flowers

1235kbm Mon 15-Jun-20 18:16:31

In what way do you feel bad OP and how is that manifesting itself? Eg are you self harming? Thinking about ending your life? Overindulging in drink?

Happyspud Mon 15-Jun-20 18:17:51

OP, calm your GP. It’s not I usual to need help at a time like this. Please reach out to your dr, I’m sure they can help you.

KeeOe Mon 15-Jun-20 18:19:48

I'm beginning to think about harming myself. I feel that it would be easier just not to be here. Noone one cares about me. What's the point. I'm not living, I'm just existing.

OP’s posts: |
Youngatheart00 Mon 15-Jun-20 18:23:56

You mention your dogs in your other post. They need you. They rely on you. Don’t harm yourself. Keep going x

1235kbm Mon 15-Jun-20 18:25:36

Deep breaths OP. You have as much right to be here as anyone else. You are important and your life matters.

Do you have a plan OP or are these just ideas?

Bumble84 Mon 15-Jun-20 18:27:12

I remember hearing someone say ‘suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem’ and it stuck with me. We will all go through hard times, some more so than others. Although it feels hopeless just now things will change in the future.

Do you have any trusted friends or family that you could speak to, just one?

KeeOe Mon 15-Jun-20 18:28:02

I dont have a plan. I just want this to stop. These feelings. I cant stop them. I just want to be happy again.

OP’s posts: |
1235kbm Mon 15-Jun-20 18:29:59

What are the feelings OP and where do you feel them? Are they in your stomach? Head? Heart area?

esmejane Mon 15-Jun-20 18:31:51

You aren’t alone and people do care, you mentioned your daughter and sister and your dogs, they all need you so try to stay strong.

If you are feeling this low though you might need some support from your GP, reach out to them and see if they can help.

You are grieving your marriage and it will get better but it will take time.

Don’t be hard on yourself for feeling down and upset it’s normal.

Try and get a good daily routine and stick to it, look after yourself and make sure you get fresh air and exercise too.

You will come through the other side of this. X

KeeOe Mon 15-Jun-20 18:32:49

I feel worthless. Absolutely worthless. And desperate. So, so desperately sad and alone. I can feel it in my stomach and in my throat. It's like a physical pain.

OP’s posts: |
1235kbm Mon 15-Jun-20 18:36:26

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad. It sounds like you are suffering from grief at the end of your relationship, rather than anxiety. That's perfectly normal OP. It hurts, it feels like physical pain and it comes in waves. It's very hard. Just know that it will pass. I know that feels impossible right now and you're not alone.

Can you tell me something about your dogs? They sound lovely. What kind are they are what are their names?

madcatladyforever Mon 15-Jun-20 18:36:31

What you have to remember OP is that thousands upon thousands of women all over the world have been through this, survived and gone on to lead very happy lives.
It is incredibly traumatic at the time and you think you'll never be happy again but you will.
I've been there three times and now very happily living on my own after thinking just last October after the end of my 20 year marriage that I couldn't see what the point of living was.
It's really important not to look backwards or forwards but just to take one single day at a time, work out how to get through that one day and do the things that need to be done. Think of nothing else but that day and how you will get to bedtime.
Night time was always a terrible time for me so I always had youtube on with a comforting video like this:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mtsF_XjNec&t=31s

Sometimes you need interim help until you feel better, antidepressants can really help until you feel you can cope again without them. I don't think I would have got through it all without medication and am off it now.
You can do this and you will survive and live again I promise.

Youngatheart00 Mon 15-Jun-20 18:36:37

I have felt that way too.

I really do recommend finding something else to focus on for a bit so you’re not just focussing on your own anguish and feelings. An old tv box set on Netflix or similar? An audiobook or podcast series? Anything to distract away from being alone with yourself.

KeeOe Mon 15-Jun-20 18:42:12

Thank you everyone. I have three greyhounds. They are called Blue, Poppy and Toby. They are currently all looking at me with concern on their little faces. I love them so much.

OP’s posts: |
Fluffycloudland77 Mon 15-Jun-20 18:42:20

Right, you need a dr. It is very important to remember that this can pass if you seek help from your gp. Your local mental health team will have a crisis line you can ring too.

You won’t always feel like this.

Google breathing exercises for anxiety. It doesn’t work completely straight away but when my dh had a breakdown last year they got him through the initial phase of wanting to end it all.

KeeOe Mon 15-Jun-20 18:43:09

I have put a Criminal Minds boxset on to distract me a bit. This is so damned hard.

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1235kbm Mon 15-Jun-20 18:43:16

What lovely names! Can you post any photos? I'd love to see them all.

HalfDutchGirl Mon 15-Jun-20 18:43:41

There are many of us who have felt exactly the same way as you right now and I know from my own experience that it doesn’t matter how often people say, you will be fine, give it time, etc etc. Right now, right at this precise moment that doesn’t help because right now it hurts like hell and you can’t see any way out so I all can say is, that I promise you that this pain you are feeling right now will ease, slowly yes, and there will be times when you feel you feel you’re going back a bit but, ultimately, it will lessen.

You’ve got some great suggestions in previous posts, take slow slow steps, one hour at a time. Take your dogs out for a walk, even though you force yourself and you don’t want to, it will help.

Happiness will happen again, I promise. flowers

cheekaa Mon 15-Jun-20 18:44:38

Yes, what lovely names. Another shout for a photo please.

KeeOe Mon 15-Jun-20 18:46:31

I have the number for the local crisis team. My GP gave it to me a couple of weeks ago. I'm going to contact them. Thank you everyone who has responded. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

OP’s posts: |
ErickBroch Mon 15-Jun-20 18:48:36

I love greyhounds so much! I can't believe you have 3 - i would love to see a photo. They love you and need you more than you will ever know - they are so loving and attached. You are grieving right now and it's horrific - please call Samaritans if you need to talk - you won't have a time limit flowers

KeeOe Mon 15-Jun-20 18:48:58

They are such beautiful dogs. They are so confused as to why Mum is so sad though and why Dad isnt with them.

OP’s posts: |
Comtesse Mon 15-Jun-20 18:50:44

I read your other threads OP. That man should be arrested for what he did to you. Hold tight my dear. He is not worth your tears. flowers please get help for yourself. I do find hot sweet tea can be helpful when feeling very low - obviously doesn’t solve anything but the sugar can be helpful. Make that call OP.

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