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Being friends with an Ex

(11 Posts)
livinthevidalockdown Sun 14-Jun-20 09:51:51

Was with Ex for about 9 months which was fun but I wasn't getting a deeper feelings.

I broke things off, didn't see each other for a few months. We have seen each other as friends a couple of times recently.

I got the feeling ex was into me so I reiterated that we are just friends and it's never going to be more is he ok with that. He said he loved me shock never said before. He wants me in his life either way so friends is fine.

I can't be close friends with him right now can I?

OP’s posts: |
bluejelly Sun 14-Jun-20 09:56:13

I think not...

RLEOM Sun 14-Jun-20 10:30:00

No. You can't be friends. He sounds like he needs a year away from you so he can move on.

Bunnymumy Sun 14-Jun-20 10:50:51

No. Because he still wants more from you. He will start to resent you over time when he realises that all youd ever want is friendship.

He isnt actually your friend. Because he has an alternative agenda. It may not be a deliberate one, but it's still there.

Staying around you will only damage his self esteem long term. And make you feel the bad guy. And then you'll resent him for not respecting your decision.

Rip the plaster off and cut contact.

ttigerlilly Sun 14-Jun-20 11:06:33

No, he need to get over you before you can consider any sort of friendship

JustC Sun 14-Jun-20 11:15:22

No, it would be cruel to him, he wouldn't be able to actually move on. Of course, he will beg to differ, he loves and wants to take the little bit he can. If you do care about him, explain you need to distance for his own good. Feel for you, crappy position to be in.

livinthevidalockdown Sun 14-Jun-20 14:54:23

We are in the same friendship group so I won't not see him but I will tell him we can't be friends just now.

I've had someone keep on the hook so don't want to do that to someone.

OP’s posts: |
2007Millie Sun 14-Jun-20 18:17:23

No. For so many reasons

Dontforgetyourbrolly Sun 14-Jun-20 18:24:59

I try very hard to break friends with my ex for the sake of our child ( neither of us still have romantic feelings for the other) . However it is abundantly clear why he is an ex and I really dislike him , so we just settle for civil .
If no child, there really is no reason to stay in contact with any ex

livinthevidalockdown Sun 14-Jun-20 20:29:25

Dontforget I am in contact with some ex's.

My DD's dad is a different situation and we can't be friends but I 'hang out' with other ex's (and their partners) sometimes and I know many people that do so I don't think that you can't be friends with an ex.

I won't be spending time with this ex one-to-one any time soon but we will be at social gatherings together so 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP’s posts: |
Interestedwoman Sun 14-Jun-20 21:29:50

My ex is my best friend. He would want to get back with me but that's not going to happen. We have a great time though, and I help him out with his disability and stuff and we hang out together- there is stuff in it for him.

I don't think he's under any illusions that we'll ever get back together. We split up twice, so would only split up again anyway. But we spend most of our lives together and have fun.

Whether you want to try it depends how you feel about this guy as a friend, how much you enjoy his company etc.

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