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Does it seem like my husband is cheating on me?

(6 Posts)
shambles01 Sun 14-Jun-20 05:13:08

My husband has slept with both men and women in the past before he married me and was quite open about that with me. He does however claim he’s fully heterosexual. Anyway, he has a lot of gay tendencies which he doesn’t even realise himself. I have a lot of LGBTQ+ friends so I am aware of this ‘gay radar’ where a gay person just knows/recognises when another is also gay. My husband is attractive in that he’s got a muscular build and does not look as old as he is.
He was washing his car yesterday and went out in the nicest top and really short shorts with a holiday hat to match. I heard talking outside and noticed him chatting to a man, somebody I did not recognise from our street as a neighbour, so was most likely a passer by. My husband seemed so happy, laughing and joking with this man in a way I haven’t seen him do with me. He was surprised I knew of this encounter because when I asked him who was the guy you were talking to, he looked like he didn’t know what to say so I just offered the explanation that was he complementing your car? My husband quickly agreed and looked startled as if he’d just done something wrong. I didn’t observe their entire encounter, (observing in a non-creepy way), as I got distracted with my mother in law. I just get that feeling that my husband was flirting? Is that me jumping to conclusions?
My husband complements men a lot in a sexual way say if we’re out for a walk in the park or just watching a video or film. He would complement other woman too but to a briefer level. Is it wrong of me to be bothered by him complementing other people in a sexual way e.g. “he’s soo fit” or “she’s beautiful”, particularly when he doesn’t complement me like that? Is it wrong of me to feel insecure because of this because I know I look no way as good as the people he’s noticing especially if I compare myself to the women he’s complementing? It’s like I have the double trouble of being threatened by both men and women either taking an interest in him or him in them.
Recently, all our intimate times have been with my husband doing it with me lying on my front and sometimes he would say something during that time which would make me think he’s thinking of someone else whilst being intimate with me, particularly as he’s being intimate with me in this particular position where he can’t see my face. Is that me just overthinking though?
I was borrowing his phone yesterday too and noticed a guy saved on my husband’s phone who he has never mentioned to me as him being a family member, a friend or even a work colleague. This was the final straw which fuelled my doubts to the max. I know the rational thing to have done would have been to ask my husband who that is but I have been guilty of checking his phone in the past or asking him about something I was convinced he was covering or hiding. On these occasions I was embarrassed because there was always an explanation and things got quite heated between us during these confrontations. How can I ask him who that guy is without him thinking I’m doubting him again? I just have the strongest feeling he’s really cheating on me this time? Is that completely irrational of me?

OP’s posts: |
Cherrybakewellard Sun 14-Jun-20 05:24:03

Ask him?

Krazynights34 Sun 14-Jun-20 05:34:19

OP - not to derail your thread... but isn’t this the man who obsessively talks about his ex-wife of 10 years, abuses you horribly.. you are mid way through a pregnancy and he’s vile..?
If he is actually cheating or flirting with men or women it’s irrelevant. You have bigger problems

WizardOfAus Sun 14-Jun-20 05:42:42

OP, based on this and your other thread... I would say leave your DH and leave him today.

Cherrybakewellard Sun 14-Jun-20 10:37:10

OP, I've read back on your other posts and honestly your relationship does seem to fit your username. It seems like your husband doesn't respect you and through one thing or another you have probably become paranoid too so it's a melting pot of all sorts of wrong which is going to come to a bad end. Unfortunately you've got a baby coming in to the mix and I can only imagine how awful things are going to be if your previous narrative is anything to go by.
Do you honestly think this is the life you or even more so your future child deserve?

SunbathingDragon Sun 14-Jun-20 10:43:37

I’ve no idea what your husband is doing and I haven’t read your other threads but just based on your OP, it doesn’t sound to me like you have a relationship you are happy in.

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