I've been in a relationship for two years. For the last twelve months it was progressing well, we discussed a future together.
Start of lockdown we made the decision to remain in on own homes. We both have responsibilities and it felt the right thing to do (also our only option if I'm honest.
My family situation - 2DC, 17 & 20. I'm working full time in a stressful role, 17 yr old studying A levels (year 12), 20 yr old home from uni. We live in a standard three bed, one bathroom semi, so not loads of space, but enough for us. My 20 yr old has a life long medical condition that puts them in the vulnerable category, so we have observed lockdown rules.
DP - over ten years ago and following divorce he moved back with his mum. She has numerous health conditions and was working in a low paid, low skilled job. She would have struggled to clear/pay her mortgage. DP made the decision to buy the family home (mum was given back what equity was in the house, which was not much). With the promise he would keep her housed. He had a relationship during the ten years before we met, he moved out with new partner, but returned when the relationship ended. His mums health is not great, she has not left the house during this period.
The latest bubble does not apply to us as a couple. Until the last few weeks I'd say we managed to maintain a positive virtual relationship. We have met for walks when the weather has been good (and it was allowed) and he has come and sat in my garden twice since 1st June.
I guess as this goes on, I see no end. Also, his mum (who is loving lockdown) is becoming more and more dependent on my DP. She is 71, but I wouldn't be surprised if she never left the house again. Her mum was the same and suffered similar anxieties.
Not really sure what I'm asking. But I feel myself distancing myself from DP. He has been lovely through lockdown, sent cards and thoughtful gifts. I asked if we could bubble, given neither household has mixed with others. He has refused and wants to wait until it's formally allowed. I've argued my 17yr old will be returning to school, so risks will be higher then!!
I feel so bloody low at the moment, work is awful and not having adult support (friends or partner) has been difficult. But I think the biggest problem is that I feel rejected, then I feel needy. I've been independent since my divorce, so know I can manage alone.
I think me wanting to create a bubble and his reluctance to break any rules will ultimately end our relationship.
I guess I'm asking, am I being unreasonable?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Staying apart in lockdown, has probably ended a 2 year relationship. Anyone else?
Movinghouse2015 · 13/06/2020 08:16
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