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Is this response a bit meh?

(18 Posts)
Opentooffers Sat 13-Jun-20 00:41:19

Ex BF, finished NYE, had a fwb one off just before covid, then parked it, got friendly during covid lockdown - socially distance walking my dog. Then moved to garden social, then dtd ( both live alone). Been cooking lots for me, spent loads of time doing relationship like stuff on my days off - he's not been working.
Shit day at work today, he says hug waiting, I say makes life better, he says same here, I go and blurt out that I think you know you're more than a fwb.
I get back that it's good I'm honest ?- ok, kinda got a vibe lately there'd be a better response. I'm thinking now some space is the way to go. Does that seem fair?

OP’s posts: |
Candyfloss99 Sat 13-Jun-20 00:42:40

Yep lots and lots of space needed.

NoMoreDickheads Sat 13-Jun-20 00:47:29

Don't let him shag you again unless he changes his tune so much he virtually has a personality transplant.

backseatcookers Sat 13-Jun-20 00:55:18

You know you aren't on the same page... it's rubbish when you wish it was different but take this as a positive - you've found out now you aren't on the same page so you can stop before you get in any deeper.

Crystalspider Sat 13-Jun-20 00:57:49

I think he was taken by surprise and either is not sure yet or he doesn't want a relationship, sounds like he's not too thrilled tbh or he would be more enthusiastic. It's always risky to give relationship benefits without commitment, but you will have to wait on him now to tell you.

Opentooffers Sat 13-Jun-20 01:04:02

Lol, well, he doesn't and never did just shag me, he's quite giving in that way. I suppose that's why half the time I think ' hell why not ,life is short' , then I catch feels, but he's never admitted that. I flip flop from, enjoying fine, don't want to date you anyway, to feeling loved up - with a dose of well in covid times I'm not going to have jollies with anyone else, so might as well make hay. Run with it, then bin post covid?

OP’s posts: |
NoMoreDickheads Sat 13-Jun-20 01:16:50

I'm not saying he only shagged you, but he didn't demonstrate being all that into you there. Plus, people do other stuff to keep us on that string.

It's like when I said 'I love you' to someone once and he said 'thank you.' grin

I think this bloke will end up upsetting you- well, to an extent he already is.

Opentooffers Sat 13-Jun-20 09:14:24

Yea, I'm going to drop contact now, it's not for me.

OP’s posts: |
Pogz92 Sat 13-Jun-20 09:18:03

I thought 2 single households were only allowed to make physical contact from today?

Isthisnothing Sat 13-Jun-20 10:28:34

I've read and reread the op and I can't see what everyone else is seeing. Maybe he sincerely meant it's good you're honest because he feels the same and wants to talk to you about it? Or he assumed you knew he liked you and wanted to know how you felt?

Either way you've opened up now and the ball lies in his court. See does he pursue things.

Also - when my fiance told me he loved me, I said thank you and meant it. I wasn't there yet but it didn't put him off and he continued telling me he loved me and I continued thanking him for a couple of weeks. It didn't feel pressurised or awkward. Then one day it just flowed out of my mouth without me thinking.

NoMoreDickheads Sat 13-Jun-20 10:35:02

Maybe he sincerely meant it's good you're honest because he feels the same and wants to talk to you about it

Isthisnothing- OP said she liked him in a boyfriend-like way and he said 'It's good you're honest.' Full stop. If he felt the same he'dve said so. If he'd meant anything other than 'thank you for sharing but I don't feel the same' he'dve said 'yes, I feel the same' or something.

LellyMcKelly Sat 13-Jun-20 10:37:46

Are you sure you’re not just spending a lot of time together because of lockdown? Neither of you can go out and meet other people and although you’ve been breaking the rules you’ve been fairly sensible in sticking just to each other. If lockdown hadn’t happened would you be likely seeing each other?

bigchris Sat 13-Jun-20 10:43:04

@Pogz92 and that's the point you want to pick up on?? People have been doing what the hell they like all along, mass protests etc

Op maybe he will realise what he's missing if you can go low contact

iklboo Sat 13-Jun-20 10:44:23

I've been married to my FWB for 16 years this year.

excelledyourself Sat 13-Jun-20 10:44:39

I don't understand. Is he actually your ex, and then you've gone FWB?

The mention of ex at the start is confusing me.

pinktaxi Sat 13-Jun-20 10:53:45

It's the most sensible thing to do. There's nothing worse than loving someone who is never going to feel the same about you.

dontgobaconmyheart Sat 13-Jun-20 11:14:00

How have you been DTD and relationship like stuff on days off if you weren't 'allowed' to until today though OP hmm.

If you're at home thinking you're not bothered sometimes and might use him for covid jollies and then bin, surely you're no more committed than he is? Would you be ok if he said that online about you?

It sounds like a bit of fun with a fwb, he isn't more than that if he doesn't agree he is, and I think if you've made blatantly clear you think it's way more and he hasn't said anything encouraging (which he hasn't). I'd either talk to him to see if he actually thinks he would ever want a relationship so that you know either way, or just cool it if you aren't fussed yourself anyway.

LuckyAmy1986 Sat 13-Jun-20 13:11:22

I wouldn’t play games. I’d just ask outright do you see this as something more too? If not cut your losses and if yes then great. If you just start ignoring him then what? He’ll still be on your mind won’t he? And you’ll be wondering?

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