Earlier on, my OH was being a bit suspicious around his phone after having a nap. I showed an interest in what he was looking at- but when I got closer to his phone he leaped to grab it . Feeling very suspicious , I felt he was hiding something so leapt to see and kept hold of it. I told him to let me see what was there, saying that if he had nothing to hide he wouldn’t mind or be reacting that way . It turned into a full on wrestle - he was laughing the whole time but using all his strength to get it off me. He said’ wow you’re quite strong’ ( I wasn’t giving in) .
When I said ‘what’s on there that you can’t show me ?!’ He said something along the lines of ‘ I would rather you didn’t see anything and just keep doubting’ so I got even more suspicious then.
Anyway I managed to check a few pages as I got away from him - it was all a bit silly really . Nothing major came of that ( there was one person on Signal he claims not to know , no picture and only one message) , nothing I could really pin to anything . He has so many apps and pages it was hard to look. Afterwards, his male group chat popped up on WhatsApp ( a group of around 10 men he talks to about computers etc ) - he was saying ‘ it’s just guys , nothing going on, old friends’ I saw a few messages on it ( have in the past too) and suddenly I realised that I’ve never - in around 2 years- seen any photos of any women on there, not one. Which I find a bit strange for a group of young men. But within the conversation this last week , there are quite a few pictures of - wait for it - sausage dinners and sausages laid out on plates to look like men’s parts 🤔?! One guy had said ‘ count me in for the dic pics’ . When I said ‘ hang on a minute ...’ he said ‘ oh that’s nothing , just guys joking , it’s banter , just being stupid etc etc . I told him that I didn’t think guys usually had that content on private chat. Then I remembered that he speaks to one of them privately too and in the past has sent the 😘emoji, which I thought was odd at the time. He said that emoji is used ironically Between guys in his country ( he’s not from UK) . I just feel a bit baffled?! Am I really overthinking this ? Has lockdown turned me totally loopy? Do I have reason to think anything ? He denies it all and says I’m being super paranoid and that I should just be glad the guys don’t talk about women . If all that were true , I’d be happy that they’re just ordinary, nerdy guys talking computers and , er, sausages . Somehow though, Something doesn’t feel right .
I’m ashamed that I didn’t trust him , but his reaction was quite extreme- he was absolutely desperate to get the phone. Otherwise I wouldn’t have tried so hard.
Sorry this is long 😬
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Could he be gay ?
Underpressure13 · 12/06/2020 22:22
I would assume the sausage things were a joke, IDK about 'sign me up for the dic pics' tho. 
Was that person English? Maybe they meant, 'sign me up for those dick pics' i.e. they quite like sausages.
Does anything else about him somehow 'seem gay?' I suppose you can't necessarily judge by what he's like in bed, as he may be bi or just sometimes involved with men, but still like women/you.
It was weird how he was so keen to hide his phone.
Not sure what to do with the imagery of a group of gay men sharing phallic dinners and potential dick pics OP, it's all a bit much 
It does sound like strange behaviour. At best it's pathetically puerile and a real turn off IMO. Obviously he doesn't trust you that much and feels he wants to hide things which isn't particularly healthy. It doesn't seem you trust him either (with good reason).
I don't think anyone can say who is or isn't gay based on this small piece of info. Are there other thing that make you feel you might be - sex life etc?
I found reading this extremely triggering. The last time my husband attacked me to get my phone he was arrested for assault. He too was paranoid and suspicious. It was terrifying.
It's awful to read that so many people on here think what you did was justified . Just because you're a woman doesn't make it OK to attack your partner.
Regardless of your suspicions your behaviour is completely out of order. I suggest that you take yourself away from him before both of you come to more harm as you clearly don't trust him.
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