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Need help please

(14 Posts)
raindropsandkittens Fri 12-Jun-20 02:21:19

I come from a dysfunctional and abusive background which I'm ashamed to say is still messing me up in my mid 40s.

Spoke to Health in Mind yesterday, and whilst I really really appreciate having them contacting me, it just made me feel more alone. They wanted to put labels on how I'm feeling and tick referral boxes. I tried to explain that I just need to talk (and talk!) and just have someone listen, so I can get all my thoughts and bitterness out.

OP’s posts: |
Las111 Fri 12-Jun-20 02:42:39

Well let loose, it needs to vented out. Im happy to listen smile

cheekaa Fri 12-Jun-20 02:50:48

I wish there was some way I could be there for you physically, to hold your hand, give you a warm tight hug and listen to you.
I'd be happy to stay up all night if you wanted to.

raindropsandkittens Fri 12-Jun-20 03:06:42

Thank you both so much.

OP’s posts: |
1235kbm Fri 12-Jun-20 03:15:51

I'm really sorry you had such a negative experience. What is the problem OP are you suffering from anxiety or depression or is it something else?

cheekaa Fri 12-Jun-20 03:24:44

Raindrops , if you are in the U.K. you could call the Samaritans for a chat

NoMoreDickheads Fri 12-Jun-20 11:33:42

The initial phone screening of what the problem is, what you want to achieve etc can be to help you match you to the right person, or for the counsellor to have some idea what issues they're going to be working off before they meet the person. It also means they can see where you are, so they can see after a few sessions/at the end what progress has been made. This can also help them get funding for the service etc.

The actual sessions and course of counselling will then go in whatever direction you personally go.

It'll be ok- don't worry about the initial phone thing. xxx

NoMoreDickheads Fri 12-Jun-20 11:34:21

*working on

raindropsandkittens Sat 13-Jun-20 19:54:18

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate all of your advice.

The lady I spoke to for the initial assessment said she would send an email regarding grief counselling and five days later....nothing.

It took everything for me to seek help and I don't feel that's acceptable - she knew I was desperate.

Open to the fact that I may be being subjective but would have expected the email by now.

OP’s posts: |
1235kbm Sat 13-Jun-20 21:26:38

OP have you looked at CRUSE for grief counselling?

The number is 0808 808 1677​

You can also email helpline@cruse.org.uk

Opening hours
Monday: 9.30am-5pm
Tuesday: 9.30am-8pm
Wednesday: 9.30am-8pm
Thursday: 9.30am-8pm
Friday: 9.30am-5pm
Saturday and Sunday: 10am -2pm

raindropsandkittens Fri 19-Jun-20 20:39:57

Hello everyone

Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. I really appreciate it.

I've been in a very horrible place this week and have tried to get help from various places. I'm feeling quite a lot better today which is great but also scary that state of mind can change so much over the course of a week.

I have so much to deal with and so much I would like to be able to talk about but it's far too identifying when all put together.

Just need to talk a bit if that's okay. My dad died in tragic dysfunctional circumstances last year and it was his inquest last week. My husband forgot. Totally forgot.

I reminded him and he said 'I have trouble retaining information' and over the course of the week hasn't asked me about the outcome.

There is a lot of history unfortunately to his behaviour, but this alone isn't normal is it?

I feel like I'm going insane sometimes.

OP’s posts: |
raindropsandkittens Fri 19-Jun-20 22:02:37

Bump. Hope that's not against rules. Thanks

OP’s posts: |
NoMoreDickheads Fri 19-Jun-20 23:17:15

The lady I spoke to for the initial assessment said she would send an email regarding grief counselling and five days later....nothing. It took everything for me to seek help and I don't feel that's acceptable - she knew I was desperate.

It could be worth chasing it up- you could call on Monday. It's not that places don't care, they just have a lot on all the time, and also with Corona they probably have a skeleton staff on.

If you're desperate then that sort of service isn't what you need to be using on its own/relying on as your primary source of help, as it can take a while for an appointment to come through etc - you need to see your GP or go to A&E. If you've already seen your GP or a consultant then go back again as there are loads of things they can try.

There is a lot of history unfortunately to his behaviour, but this alone isn't normal is it?

No, and he knows it's not normal, that's why he made excuses for himself.

1235kbm Sat 20-Jun-20 00:58:00

Hi OP, I'm sorry you're struggling. It sounds as though your husband is self absorbed and doesn't think to ask if you are ok or how you are holding up. I gave you the details of Cruse up thread, have you contacted them? They provide free grief counselling and have counselling specifically for people who have lost a loved one in traumatic circumstances. I'm sorry for your loss.

Perhaps tread water for the time being as you have the inquest and then think about your relationship once it's over. You're going through a very difficult time, focus on the breath. Just breathe and take it one day at a time.

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