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Recovering from emotional abuse / relationship with narcissist - reading?

(13 Posts)
GoGoGadgetShoes Wed 10-Jun-20 15:49:07

Dear all,

I separated from my covert narcissist STBXH earlier this year.

When I realised who/what I was dealing with, I read everything I could get my hands on about these types of personalities. This definitely helped me understand so much about my relationship, and gave me the strength to move on.

Now, I really need help with the recovery phase. Deprogramming myself from all the learned behaviours, the conditioned responses, the inbuilt fears and worries.

I've got a great counsellor who specialises in this stuff but I'd appreciate any good reading material that you might be able to recommend. Books I can download or online resources...

Of course, thanks to this board, it's also super useful to hear from others further down the road to recovery.

Thank you!!

OP’s posts: |
Sexnotgender Wed 10-Jun-20 15:51:54

No advice but following. I divorced my emotionally abusive, controlling narc about 6 years ago but I still bear the scars.

I’m happily remarried to a lovely man who understands.

broccoliduns Wed 10-Jun-20 16:01:54

Living with the dominator is fantastic. Have you considered the freedom programme?

broccoliduns Wed 10-Jun-20 16:04:24

Also if you have Spotify, there's a series called engendered. There's one (episode 2 I think) that has Evan Stark as a guest. My god he is brilliant. He talks about coercive control so eloquently and it really helped me to understand what happened to me.

broccoliduns Wed 10-Jun-20 16:05:27

GoGoGadgetShoes Wed 10-Jun-20 16:12:15

@SexnotGender, I'm so glad to hear you've found a good'un. But sad that you still have the scars of your previous relationship. It's a long journey I guess.

@Broccoliduns thanks for those recommendations. I've not read Living with the Dominator, will check it out. And yes, am often on Spotify so will give that a listen for sure. Not in the UK so not sure about the freedom programme...

OP’s posts: |
hellsbellsmelons Wed 10-Jun-20 16:40:25

You can do the Freedom Programme on line so have a look.
I think you need to buy some materials at about £12.
Also have a read of Lundy Bancroft - why does he do that?
There is a book on Amazon called 'How to Kill a Narcissist'
That has some good reviews but also some bad ones so have a read through of reviews first.
Another book on there is called 'out of the fog'
Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse THIS BOOK has some really good reviews!
Well done on getting out OP.
I can't imagine how hard all this is.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 10-Jun-20 16:41:17

Well that link didn't work.
Hopefully Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse: A Collection of Essays on Malignant Narcissism and Recovery from Emotional Abuse THIS ONE WILL

hellsbellsmelons Wed 10-Jun-20 16:41:58

Nope - but you have the title there so have a look.

GoGoGadgetShoes Wed 10-Jun-20 17:02:11

@Hellsbellsmelons - found it - Thank you!

I'll check out the freedom programme online.

OP’s posts: |
jamaisjedors Wed 10-Jun-20 17:10:52

If you are still grieving the loss of the relationship, I found "you can heal your heart" by Louise Hay very useful.

I felt more at peace with myself about the whole experience.

GoGoGadgetShoes Thu 11-Jun-20 16:50:28

@jamaisjedors - thanks for that suggestion. I'll have a look!
I remember your threads - reading them gave me a lot of strength while I was going through this breakup. FWIW my STBXH narc is French...

OP’s posts: |
jamaisjedors Fri 12-Jun-20 15:27:06

@GoGoGadgetShoes ahh glad my threads were helpful (still ongoing!) and glad you are out and on track to recovery.


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