I don't know why i'm posting, I guess I don't really have anyone else to talk to. I posted on here a couple of weeks ago about wanting to leave my dh, just not being brave enough.
Last night I finally snapped, after witnessing another of his ridiculous tantrums about nothing. we talked for a long time, and he finally realised that this behaviour is tantamount to abuse and emotional manipulation, and have warned him if he doesn't stop he will lose his relationship with dd completely. he agreed, saying he knows he has acted like an arsehole for years. I told him that I had enough, that for me it is over. he agreed, saying he just wanted me to be happy so if that would make me happy then he is fine with it.
we have agreed for the time being that he will remain in the house. We already have separate bedroom and bathrooms so this is no great change. I want to revert to my maiden name (have wanted this for a while)and we will tell dd we are no longer a couple, but will continue to raise her.
we are discussing a parenting marriage, whereby we remain living together and raising dd but we are not a couple. we are currently pooling our money to clear debts and saving up for a house, so we may continue to do this as trying to do it separately will never work and I am scared of being 80 and still renting a house. but these are things that will get worked out. we will review the plan regularly, but the main thing for me is the complete understanding we are now broken up and I don't have to hide round the corner in the car rather than go home.
for his part he is seeking counselling about his anger and his issues with his family, so we'll see how that goes. But for me there is no going back - I am so happy I made me feelings clear and I know I don't have to live with this dick forever. we might be good friends, and raise a child together, but nothing more.
I guess I just wanted to talk to someone, to share that I had done it, and with thanks to everyone who made me see his behaviour for what it was.
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i finally did it
10 replies
stephrose03 · 10/06/2020 14:21
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