I'm just looking for opinions to see if I've done the right thing. I met a man 2 years a go through work, I am a woman. We are both married. We became friends (just friends before anyone says it must have been more!). We message now and then, speak about random stuff and maybe if something serious was going on, he would give me the odd call and vice versa.
Recently he is having marriage issues. He doesn't go too much into it to be honest and I don't dig too much but it seems like his wife might be emotionally abusive or something. I've mentioned a few things to my husband and he says they don't sound right. I will give some examples without too much details:
His wife sleeps late everyday (like lunchtime) despite the fact they have children, both young and he is working full time from home
The house is a mess, I mean a real mess, think hoarders. I think this is down to them both
His wife says things like 'you're lucky I work and don't expect you to pay for my haircuts like other women do'. She works 2 days a week
His wife has gone to his mum and bad mouthed him saying he has changed and she's the only one trying and she says things to him like your mum is disappointed in you but his story is that he is depressed with doing everything himself and trying to juggle work, cleaning and taking care of the children on his own most of the time
She disapproves of all his friends so he has none
She hid his passport in a bid to prevent him going on a business trip
He can't ask her if she will get up with the children so he can do his work/have meetings because she starts an argument and says his work expect too much of him
He moved from another city 150 miles away from his hometown to live with her so he has no family nearby and his wife has the monopoly on his mum and has told her one side of the story
If he ever wants to go out, he is told he is not fulfilling his role as a father and everything else is put first
She said he needs to see a GP and get tablets because he is the issue and what she is doing is normal
I had to take the decision to distance myself and end the friendship because he doesn't do anything about any of this. I said to him there was no harm in retracting his statement to end the marriage and giving things a go but he needed to make sure change happens on his part and his wifes. I said he should speak to his mum and give her the full story, not bad mouth his wife but give his mum the full story so he doesn't feel everyone is against him. That was input to it but his behaviour afterwards seems to be strange and I felt it was dragging me down so I said I was stepping away. Now I'm worried he will do something silly with no one to talk to because he has said things about suicide before. Should I contact him and how should I be if I do? My husband said it's up to me and I should get a female perspective on things, whatever that means!
Thank you
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Relationships
Just ended a friendship
NameChanger31 · 10/06/2020 12:19
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