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Another gem from the OH

(60 Posts)
YouFillMeWithInertia Tue 09-Jun-20 09:31:15

NC etc...

Last night we were talking in bed and OH comes out with something along the lines of "Your tits are okay but not the best I've seen. Some women I look at and think PHWOAR, they're nice jugs!".

He can't underatand why I'm pissed off today hmm. Add in the fact that I'm already feeling mega rejected as we've only had sex (or any kind of intimacy) 3 times in the last two years...

I'm currently looking after the kids while he's playing computer games working from home in the dining room. Only a few hours before I get to make us all lunch. Again.

It's just another erosion of our already strained marriage.


OP’s posts: |
MostTacticalNameChange Tue 09-Jun-20 09:39:42

Fuck that shit. Either insensitive or designed to make you insecure. Either way...get rid. They are major signs of disrespect you should not have to deal with.

Can you leave?

NoMoreDickheads Tue 09-Jun-20 09:42:12

Bin. It means he thinks he can treat you any which way.

Greenkit Tue 09-Jun-20 09:48:44

Wow, show him the door and gather up your self respect

sanityisamyth Tue 09-Jun-20 09:49:03

I'm sure his cock isn't the best you've seen either. Get rid.

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 09-Jun-20 09:51:27

What are you getting out of this relationship now. You are with this man because.....

Gather up your self worth here and rebuild your life without him in it day to day.

Windmillwhirl Tue 09-Jun-20 09:52:23

OP what is your plan? Are you going to stay living with a man that is happy to hurt you this way?

Why are you not having sex? Has he ED? Sounds like he is insulting you because he cant or won't perform

Poppopparthenope Tue 09-Jun-20 09:52:32

Yes - I would say similar critical things about his body parts and find someone else who appreciates your amazing body x

lowlandLucky Tue 09-Jun-20 09:52:45

My jaw is on the floor ! Oh my if i was you i wouldnt hold back, bring up everything that is wrong with him and keep rubbing it in. Lunch ? Tell him to make it his bloody self as you swan out the front door.

Slothsarecreepy Tue 09-Jun-20 09:58:01

Just end the relationship.

needhandhold Tue 09-Jun-20 10:00:12

Don’t make him lunch! Work out a plan to leave. What an arsehole

ShouldISurrogate Tue 09-Jun-20 10:00:41

My OH is a bum guy and I have zero bum.. never once has be made me feel inferior or insecure about it.

Your partner is a wank. You deserve better op!

YouFillMeWithInertia Tue 09-Jun-20 10:00:48

Not that easily @MostTacticalNameChange - usual story; kids, house and all that... Every now and then I find myself looking on Rightmove at what I could afford while bitterly regretting some of my life choices.

This will probably sound ridiculously stupid but my fear (aside from children things and having to seriously downgrade my living arrangements) is that if we split then he'll quickly and easily find somone else and give them all the love and affection that I'm not getting while I'm left on the shelf.

@sanityisamyth - thanks for that, you made me chuckle! grin

OP’s posts: |
CorianderLord Tue 09-Jun-20 10:02:54

Well that's hideous of him. DP would never ever say that to me. Also he'd never say 'jugs'. Vile

CorianderLord Tue 09-Jun-20 10:05:35

I mean you're not getting any love and affection now so what's the difference between staying and leaving? Fewer insults?

TimelyManor Tue 09-Jun-20 10:08:53

my fear is that if we split then he'll quickly and easily find somone else and give them all the love and affection that I'm not getting while I'm left on the shelf

And down the line someone else will be getting these little gems of how disappointing her tits are. I'd rather be alone than have someone who is supposed to love me working away at my self worth.

boireannach Tue 09-Jun-20 10:10:31

@YouFillMeWithInertia -When - if you leave he probably will find someone else and he will disrespect and wear her down too because what makes him feel in control. You on the other hand will soar flowers

Windmillwhirl Tue 09-Jun-20 10:10:37

Your thinking is warped. So what if he meets someone and showers them with love.

He is still making you feel shit!

I truly don't understand your reasoning.

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 09-Jun-20 10:11:55

Staying for a house and or the sake of the children is rarely if ever a good idea. And they are not going to say to you "thanks mum" for doing that to them.

What do you want to teach your children about relationships and what do you think they are learning here?.

I would not further do your bit here to show your children such a poor relationship model. You would not want this for them as adults and its not good enough for you either.

GoldenBlue Tue 09-Jun-20 10:15:53

Once you get over the fear of loss of 'stuff' you can get on and enjoy life.

Your children are watching and learning right now. Is your relationship the type you want for them? Because if not you need to get out of there and show them a better way to live their lives. You want them to be happy, not putting up with a horrid marriage because you don't want to lose this house.

As long as there is a roof over your heads and you are happy then you give your kids a better life model.

Happymum12345 Tue 09-Jun-20 10:17:40

He needs to know how bad you feel. It’s an awful thing for him to have said. flowers

YouFillMeWithInertia Tue 09-Jun-20 10:20:25

@Windmillwhirl - I haven't really got a plan, every time I get close to calling it a day he either makes a grand apology or I realise how much I would lose.

I don't think he's got ED, when we've spoken about the lack of sex he just says he doesn't want it/it's not on his radar.

Another thing that's going to sound silly... I had a very close friend at school who I really fancied. Actually, that's not true, I loved them completely but didn't do anything about it. When we were 18ish he had his first girlfriend (who was an arsehole and gave him the clap). We met up a few times over the years and they were still together and had a kid.

Probably 6 months before meeting my OH, I met up with my old friend who was freshly single and we ended up finding out we both felt the same way back then. He was just as beautiful as ever and we very nearly got together but we lived hundreds of miles apart by that time so it didn't happen.

Spool on several years to a few months ago and I discovered that he's got married to a wonderful woman. While I'm delighted that he's happy, a little bit of my soul was crushed and it made me wonder whether I should just stick with what I've got.

OP’s posts: |
Lipz Tue 09-Jun-20 10:25:29

That's grim what he said. I think I'd be devastated if dh said that to me. Thankfully he has more respect not to. It's your life, it's up to you if you want to stay with someone who belittles you. Can't imagine comments like that are good for your self esteem.

BadBear Tue 09-Jun-20 10:25:55

Better on a shelf than with a cocksmear! (Pardon my French!)

He must have a lot of issues and insecurities if he feels the need to say something so demeaning and disrespectful. Please get rid of this asshole and watch him panic when he realises that he's not the hot stuff that women want. Also what @GoldenBlue said, teach your kids self-respect and don't let them believe this is a typical relationship.

Shoxfordian Tue 09-Jun-20 10:28:17

Why should you stick with someone who doesn't appreciate you? He sounds like a knob. It's really nasty to compare you to other women like that.

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