I am so sorry for the length of this, I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this. I would just appreciate some friendly words right now and a bit of support. I will try and explain as briefly as I can.
I have met this amazing man back in December last year. So far, we have spent the odd weekend together, stayed at each other’s places as often as we could. He lives 60 miles away from myself so it’s difficult to spend time during the week.
Been on some amazing dates. Both agreed to take it slow though, he is a divorcee with 2 lovely kids, a son and daughter (teens), and I came out of a long term relationship last Summer (2019).
The last time I actually spent proper time with him, was actually back in March- because of COVID-19 we haven’t been able to stay at each other’s houses or actually meet unless at a distance
We are still in the early days, because of the lockdown since March, it has put us back in terms of introducing each other to our families…
Bit of background, I am 31, there is a 16 year age gap between us. At the moment, this doesn’t bother us. We get on great and have very similar interests. I have simply never felt this happy before with someone else in a long time. I understand this is not everyone’s cup of tea but you cannot help who you fall for right?
My family are aware I am dating this man, we are connected on social media, he is friends with a few of my family members on Facebook.
My Mum made one rude comment about his appearance after clicking on his profile (that is just from photos… I was very upset by this and I am not able to react because I am then accused of being very ‘defensive’ of him)
For example, she looked at a photo of him and said to me- “Are you serious?” I was deeply hurt by this and cannot even explain how this made me feel. I sort of felt damage was done then, how could I bring him home after that?
He is not the usual ‘neat’ type of man I go for, he is not my usual type. But he makes me happy and surely that is enough?
I have quite simply gone for how this man makes me feel… I clearly fancy him too, otherwise I wouldn’t be with him… I am at a point in my life where happiness is what I am looking for and security- which new man offers me and he is also very protective of me which I have never had before in relationships. Without even asking.
My new man, take this how you will, has a history of alcohol abuse, drugs and smoking. He is now t-total and has stopped smoking with serious help but as you can imagine it has taken a slight toll on his looks. He is quite skinny at the moment and is looking at new diets to put weight on. He does not earn a massive amount of money as he is having to support his daughter and son which I understand. He is not in designer clothes and shiny watches. He dresses as well as he can.
He does not have a car at the moment as his ex-wife has this as it is needed for the kids. He is currently saving up for one. He has never asked anyone for anything his whole life and worked hard for everything he has ever owned.
He has a job where he is a skilled worker and works 6 days a week, he is such a hard worker but that gets overlooked by a lot of people.
My family were very ‘comfortable’ shall we say with my ex-partner who I was with for 12 years… my Mum loved him like a son shall we say so clearly my new man has some ‘big boots’ to fill.
To be honest, this whole situation has made me feel extremely sad and so, so gutted. The thought of bringing this man home to meet my family just terrifies me…. Its not just been one occasion where a nasty comment has been said, there have been a few other times. I am very close with my family so this is really going to hit me like a ton of bricks.
Do I just bite the bullet? What if I am told they don’t like him…
I hope this all makes sense.
Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read this. I would welcome any views xx
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Relationships
Terrified of introducing new man to family !!! Need a hand hold
PiscesLady · 08/06/2020 18:49
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