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How do I stop thinking bout him(7 Posts)
I’ve tried the usual, reading, exercise etc but he’s just always on my mind...we split last year and it’s being on and off on and off which is why I think I’m not fully over it yet.
Is there any techniques I can do to get over him?
He’s blocked on social media, what’s app etc but still see him cause of our young children.
Do you have anyone else who can do the drop offs/pick ups?
You have to decide for yourself that that's it, it's off and that is that. Make the resolution and find your resolve. So no matter what happens, that isnt changing. Because you choose it.
You want to get over him that is a good start.
Decide that the relationship stays off, no talking over feelings with him etc it's now the past.
Just keep meetings with brief when handing over children, texts short.
Think about your future, what you are in control of changing for the better.
The only way to get over it is to stop doing on off on off ...
Block and don’t go back
Oh I feel for you OP, it’s a miserable feeling. Agree with PPs to draw a firm line. Cut down (or off) any contact. Write a list of all the negative things about him and your relationship you can think of. Sounds a bit woo but try reading the power of now by ekhardt tolle - I found it useful and soothing in moving on from something in the past (slightly different circs to you but comparable).
I think the other important thing is distractions, fun, and things to look forward to. Bit more challenging at the moment (and definitely easily to dwell on things right now) but there’s still stuff to get involved in. Online classes, meet-ups, activities, etc.
Above all, even though it feels rubbish now, be assured you will feel better. You won’t feel like this forever, promise!
Well there's lots of little things you can do maybe ... When you have the energy just build up stuff . I am creating a song list to keep me focused and not move backwards . Listen to that after you think about him , I'm also creating a happy song list just to dance to .... I am getting colouring books to relax and I'm thinking about signing up to online Spanish classes . Allow yourself to wallow but put a timer on it . Watch comedies , I had modern family on in the background for over a week ....
It's over , accept that and grieve for what you have lost but don't go back. Every minute you don't think about him and enjoy something is a win . Just keep collecting those wins .
And keep up the reading and exercise!!! Well done
I’m the same - though I haven’t spoken to him for as long now as I was with him. It’s like a toothache of the heart- trying to ignore it but you can’t stop yourself probing at it.
It will ease - it has for me - however you will get surges of it and may feel its overwhelming you - it isn’t though. Keeping busy will help - but allow yourself to be sad - it’s grief - something and someone you cared for is gone
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