For a bit of background, I've been single for a few years. Been on a few dates but nothing has worked out.
I met a lovely guy online. He's good looking and we get on really well. We've met a couple of times, socially distancing of course, and it went really well.
He seems to be quite keen, has talked about the future, us maybe going away, things that might happen and how he'd be if we were in a relationship. I've been very flattered as I haven't had this level of interest for a long time. He's very attentive, messaging me throughout the day which is lovely.
However since we've met my anxiety has been through the roof. It tends to get like that with any change in my life. I feel constantly worried and sick. I keep thinking this is too good to be true.
He is a very involved father which is one of the things I like about him. His youngest is still a baby so he has daily contact with the child's mother. They are friends and sometimes go out as a family which is great and it shows what a good man he is. It's ridiculous and I'm ashamed to admit it but I'm not sure if I could deal with that in the future.
There are a couple of strange things he's said too. He's mentioned his 12 year olds penis a few times, telling me how big it is. He's also spoken about a random young girl he saw who he believed thought she was gorgeous and he hates girls like that.
He has also been very kind, he's cooked for me and he made me a planter for my garden. He keeps telling me I'm amazing which is obviously lovely to hear.
I have a history of self sabotaging good things and I don't know if I should ride it out and see what happens and out my feelings down to my stupid anxiety or if this is my gut telling me something.
Also he has just had some bad news about a family member and is having big issues with one of his children. He had a really bad week last week. I've been listening to him talk and he said I was the only positive in his life in the past week so I feel like I should hang on for a bit really.
I keep thinking it shouldn't feel like this in the early stages, and sometimes it does feel exciting and I feel happy. I just wish my anxiety would stop.
Any advice and thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Is it just my anxiety or is it my instincts?
Tillylils · 08/06/2020 07:52
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