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Birthday argument. Fed up.

(7 Posts)
BirthdayRuined Sun 07-Jun-20 13:16:25

DP has a tendency to lose his temper over the littlest thing and if you say something he doesn't like he sulks. He's not abusive but just generally doesn't take critism very well.

It's my birthday today, I can't do much but it would of been nice for him to make an effort. I did get a present but I had to choose and order it, he never tries to think outside the box and select something thoughtful. Anyway, that's not the point I'm making.

I asked him to put some laces into my old trainers, I wouldn't really know how to do them in the style they're supposed to be in. He gets annoyed, then proceeds to throw my trainers to the other side of the floor. I say "hey, can you not throw my things?" Then it turns into a massive argument because "I'm starting an argument" and I should "know he's pissed off and not try to wind him up more".

I'm actually baffled as to how this argument has blown up. I would not throw his things but he doesn't see it as a big deal!

It sounds so pathetic and child like. Sorry.

OP’s posts: |
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Sun 07-Jun-20 13:21:40

Your partner sounds like a bit of a knob. Could you take a step back for a few weeks, go low contact, see how much effort he puts in? Or do you live together.

You need to learn how to put shoelaces in trainers though!

Windyatthebeach Sun 07-Jun-20 13:24:09

Is he 16??
Sounds like the perfect day to restart your life without him..

TimelyManor Sun 07-Jun-20 13:24:37

He is pathetic and childlike. Do not be sorry. He's making sure you dance to his tune, especially on your birthday. Classic abusive behaviour.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 07-Jun-20 13:28:06

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?

You said it yourself, you would not throw his things. But he throws yours and likely too only yours.

Why did you write he is not abusive?. What is abuse to you then?
Abuse is not just physical and this man behaves abusively towards you. What he is doing here is emotional abuse, his sulking as well is a form of emotional abuse.

I would also think you act very carefully around him too in order to try and not set him off. Like all abusers too he can be nice sometimes but that is all really a part of his nice/nasty cycle and that is a continuous one.

I would be planning my exit from this relationship with due care, abusers do not let go of their victim easily. Women’s Aid are worth contacting here.

ilikemethewayiam Sun 07-Jun-20 13:35:22

I’m afraid he IS abusive. I’m not sure how you are not seeing this. Read Lundy Bancrofts Why does he do that, the verbally abusive relationship by Patricia Evans. There’s many more. You are worth more than this. You deserve better than this.

Windyatthebeach Sun 07-Jun-20 13:36:38

My ex also made any special occasion all about him..

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