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Struggling to cope

(4 Posts)
DollyDaydream70 Sun 07-Jun-20 09:56:49

Hi, I'm struggling a bit with life at the moment.

I'm an NHS worker, working in close contact with Covid 19 patients. The hospital doors are now manned by security guards, and as of Monday I will have to wear a mask for the entire time I'm at work (even when outside but in the hospital grounds) and I will have to wear goggles or a visor when within 2 metres of any patient (I'm pretty much within 2 metres of patients all day). I work predominantly with dementia patients, they don't understand why our faces are covered, it's frightening for them, they can't see our facial expressions, a friendly smile is sometimes all it needs to help calm them down a little. I'm worried about wearing a mask for 8 hours per day, breathing in my own toxins, carbon dioxide etc, can't be good for my health can it? www.bmj.com/content/369/bmj.m1435/rr-40?fbclid=IwAR1m7lHiPvDj7e4JVBi5i2hsXLYi_o8wGU-jJc6CWb2OEVxqmdG5WKA_CtU

Aside from this, my home life has become very stressful. I'm currently residing with my Brother who is suffering a clinical depression due to his partner of over 30 years leaving him for another man. I've been living with him since the beginning of lockdown and have tried to help and advise him as best I can. It's been so hard to see this gentle, caring, hardworking man, be reduced to a shadow of his former self. He hasn't been able to work for over six months and it now looks like he may lose his job on top of everything else.

To top everything, my 30 yr old Son has decided to leave his parnter and 18 month old Daughter. I don't know where he's gone, I think he's staying with friends. Since he left the Mother of my Grandaughter has really struggled, she has some mental health issues (OCD and other similar conditions) which she controls well with medication. She is texting me constantly (she texted me as soon as I got up this morning because she could see I'd read her Whatsapp msg). She is begging me to make my Son go back to her and their child. She is devastated, she says she can't eat, sleep or leave the house. Her messages are heartbreaking.

I spent the whole of yesterday just crying because it's all becoming too much. I haven't seen my partner for 10 weeks because we live in different cities and the lockdown has prevented us from meeting up.

It's all just getting to me. Please, if you can offer any help or advice with any of this please do. I feel like my life is on a downward spiral. I know we're all suffering at the moment in one way or another, but I usually cope well with whatever life throws. I'm starting to feel like I'm not coping so well anymore.

OP’s posts: |
JustC Sun 07-Jun-20 10:17:42

Hi sorry you are having such a hard time. I think this, you talking about it, is something you can do about how it's affecting you. Also, apart from you being there as a shoulder to cry on, thete is nothing that is in your control to solve about your brother or yor DIL. alot of the time we consume ourselves because we think/want to solve our loved ones problems, but in this situation it truly is not something you can solve. So be there for your DIL, acknowledge that what your son is doing is wrong, but say that apart from talking to him, you can't do anything, he is a grown up, a shitty one at that, sorry. Same for your brother, be there for him, but explain that uou are also struggling and can he also be there for you. Lean on eachother. As for work, you are amazing for caring so much about your patients, so many hugs for that. With the mask impacting ur health, really have no input/advice as I guess even the Drs have no idea how it will impact you guys in the long run. Hugs

DollyDaydream70 Sun 07-Jun-20 12:18:49

@JustC Thank you so much for your response. I'm feeling overwhelmed at the moment. I just want something as simple as a hug, but I can't even hug my Mum, a friend, a colleague or (especially) my partner. I've messaged my DIL and been as neutral and supportive as I could be. My Brother has text to say that our trip to the garden centre today is off, as he is having a bad day :-( I was really hoping he would go as I feel that forcing himself to do these things will help his recovery, but I can't force him.
I will just busy myself today with other things. I may even treat myself to something online, I think I've earned it!!
Thanks again for taking the time to respond, just knowing that a stranger cares helps a lot xx

OP’s posts: |
JustC Sun 07-Jun-20 12:36:40

I'm glad it's helped a bit. And even if your brother is not yup for it, try to get out a bit to clear your mind. Hope you find something nice to treat yourself. Hugs

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