Anyone been through the same - supervised contact

[Jemmyjem20]

Posting for the first time hoping someone can help.

Young ds having supervised contact with his dad as he previously abused Ds and I. Social worker said contact is both positive and going well - I basically want ex to go on a dvpp course or something similar before unsupervised contact is even considered.

Has anyone had this were contact was reported as going well but then they supervisor/social worker felt the parent needed help or had unlying issues

[Nat6999]

My late partner had 3 separate lots of supervised contact with his children, 6 sessions at a Sure Start playgroup, 10 sessions at a children's centre, then 10 sessions where he chose where to go to & his parents were involved, each time there was a Caffcass worker watching & taking notes. After each set it was returned to court & after the final 10 sessions & court hearing he got awarded unsupervised contact & I was allowed to go with him.

[Jemmyjem20]

@Nat6999 I'm certainly not trying to avoid him ever having ds unsupervised but I do want him to sort out his anger issues and abusive behaviour before this happens. I want nothing more than for them to have a healthy relationship, don't get me wrong I know I cannot ever coparent with him, but if I can ensure they form a healthy safe relationship then I'll do all I can.

I suppose what I'm looking for is while contact is going well did the assessor still acknowledge there were issues. I think exp does love ds but when challenged he becomes angry very quickly, he hasn't physically hurt ds but a lot of emotional abuse, scaring him, leaving him in the car to cry unattended.

[Nat6999]

My late partner's supervision was because he was an alcoholic, to check he could have the children without drinking.

[DipseeDaisey]

The trouble you will have is, if he is clever, he will be as good as gold while being supervised, therefor whoever is supervising can only say positive things. Is the contact court ordered? If not, maybe get it ordered and ask them to add in the order that he has to attend some sort of anger management course or similar before unsupervised contact is given.

[Jemmyjem20]

@dipseedaisey, it is court ordered. I have no doubt he will be as good as gold, naturally he is the most wonderful and charming person when happy, not stressed, in control etc. It's when thinks get out of control, if he forgets something, if ds cries too much or won't stay still. As I'm sure most of you know parenthood sometimes things aren't completely in your control, kids tend to do things are the worse times, some may get annoyed by ex completely rages, it's literally like a flash then he'll hold onto it and just have mean little digs.

I have asked about an anger management course or dvpp and also a parenting course.

[mzpsmummy]

I know this is super old but @Jemmyjem20 any update?

[user1492757084]

What a good idea.
I hope they are mandatory as you know your son's father well and seem to think they will be worthwhile.