Hey all, need to get this down somewhere as I don't have anyone to speak to in real life about it.
Last weekend my partner seemed different.....not smiling, taking his phone with him all the time etc etc. Just subtle changes but enough to get my spidey senses going.
When he went to the shop, he left his phone behind and I snooped. In his recent google searches he had looked up Natasha Nice. I clicked on it and she is a porn actress. The search was showing as 7 hours before.
After a look into his search history, there had been searches for porn 4 days, and 7 days before.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude!!!! I've masturbated to porn many times when I was single. What hurts is that I was in the house!
We have a great sex life, I'm very open to trying more but he isn't, he is very vanilla. So to find he has been playing with himself while I've been downstairs......well, I hate it.
I'm pregnant and we still have sex pretty much daily, and this has hugely dented my self confidence, which I've spent years building.
I confronted him about it, and he said he had looked, only a few times, yes he had played, sometimes finishing, sometimes not. He takes a while to finish so would likely have got bored. But I know now that on those occasions, he had come up behind me downstairs and suggest we go upstairs. I've never said no, always been in the mood (my ex husband had an affair so this is always in the back of my mind). So it feels like he watched porn, couldn't finish alone, so came to get me to use me to finish.
I've no problem with masturbating, or what he does with his body, but when I'm in the house? And when we have a great sex life?
The issue for me now is that I've lost some trust in him, a man I trusted completely until now.
It is the sneaking and lies by omission that I hate.
Please tell me to stop being silly! I know my feelings are valid, it's just that it took me ten years to feel good about myself again, and now this. I feel like I'm not good enough
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Feeling hurt and distrustful
debbs77 · 05/06/2020 08:51
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