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Would you be annoyed if he ignores your texts but on social media?

(86 Posts)
drrrt Thu 04-Jun-20 17:44:02

Been on off seeing him a year.
He's a bit of a player.
He's turned his ticks off on WhatsApp so you can't see when he has read a message.
He also has he's last seen off.
I sent him a text 2 hours ago then another a hour ago.
He has ignored them.
Yet he's been online on WhatsApp (for the last two hours on and off all the time)
He's been on Facebook,messenger and Instagram.
I just think it's so rude.
Would you be annoyed ?
When he texts would you reply?
Or give him the same back

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Thu 04-Jun-20 17:45:40

He's a bit of a player.

Isn't this all you need to know? Raise the bar.

Boredofthisstagenow Thu 04-Jun-20 17:47:18

Agree with pp. Raise the bar, move on.

ShirleyPhallus Thu 04-Jun-20 17:47:23

I wouldn’t be annoyed at him not replying to me but being on social media, or having his last seen turned off etc but only if I felt respected in other ways

But I wouldn’t go out with him for being a player and you clearly don’t feel respected so I wouldn’t go out with him tbh

FWIW, I have my last seen turned off as I hate the feeling that someone thinks I need to read and / or respond the second I open WhatsApp, texts should be able to be composed when the other party has time not under the pressure of having last seen turned on

Ughmaybenot Thu 04-Jun-20 17:48:19

Oh for goodness sake. Value yourself a bit more, he’s a waste of time. Why are your standards so low that you’d put up with this guy for a year?

Lampan Thu 04-Jun-20 17:50:23

Don’t play games by doing to same back to him. If you’re not happy with the level of interest/engagement he is showing, then you either need to speak to him about it or end it.
I don’t think him waiting 2 hours is too long before a reply, after all not everyone likes constant back and forth messaging, but I can see why you feel like he is ignoring you. Are you picking up other cues that he isn’t that interested?
I think in situations like this it often boils down to a simple fact - when people are bothered, they demonstrate it. I have been in your shoes and in the end my gut feeling was right.

drrrt Thu 04-Jun-20 17:56:37

It feels like he is spoilt for choice with girls.
I feel like sometimes he can't be bothered with me.
Especially when I see he's online
Other days he's full of convo
I feel like the days he takes hours to reply
He's getting attention from someone else

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:00:12

Why is your sense of self-worth so shockingly low? He adds no value to your life yet you're allowing him to fuck you about for a year. You essentially stalking him for hours online is incredibly unhealthy. He doesn't care about you, why do you care about him? Block and move on.

CoffeeRunner Thu 04-Jun-20 18:02:12

Are you actually girlfriend/boyfriend? Or is he just someone you see on a more informal, no commitment, kind of basis (FWB type thing).

It does sound as though he’s not as invested in you as you are in him.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel Thu 04-Jun-20 18:04:44

He's getting attention from someone else

Sounds like he is.

Set your standards higher for goodness sake. What a waste of your time.

Trevsadick Thu 04-Jun-20 18:20:53

You know he is a player.

You know he is chatting up lots of women.

Why aren't you walking away, rather than come up with a plan to get him more interested?

Ughmaybenot Thu 04-Jun-20 18:23:12

It feels like he can’t be bothered with you because he can’t be bothered with you. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Up your standards.

Blahblahidontcare Thu 04-Jun-20 18:24:32

Wow. Get rid of him and get some self respect. Delete and block him. He's taking you for a ride why you being a doormat?? He doesn't care about you so stop pining after the knob.

AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit Thu 04-Jun-20 18:25:57

I rolled my eyes by line 3

Crystalspider Thu 04-Jun-20 18:34:02

This is all your ever going to get from him, 'he's bit of a player' and he's playing you. My advice would be to stop messaging him, quite honestly this makes you look needy and desperate and he's using you.

louise5754 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:34:40

My husband firs this drives me mad

louise5754 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:34:58


louise5754 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:36:29

The Facebook thing. Not what's app.

SerendipitySunshine Thu 04-Jun-20 18:39:17

Run. You can do so much better.

Elieza Thu 04-Jun-20 18:41:16

Sorry OP but he’s not that into you.
Dump and move on to someone who values you as you should be.

Wearywithteens Thu 04-Jun-20 18:51:45

Why are you doing this to yourself? A player? Yep, he’s certainly playing you all anxious about not texting back...worried who he’s paying attention to. STOP.

If he cared about you and really wanted to be with you, you wouldn’t have these worries...have some self respect and find yourself someone who is worthy of you and loves texting you.

Btw, I can tell you exactly when he’ll reply to your text. When he wants sex.

RantyAnty Thu 04-Jun-20 19:02:05

You're the one that has choice of men yet you've given this one headspace.
Delete, block, talk to other men.

Dick is so low value and high supply, there never any reason to waste a second on one who treats you unkind.

drrrt Thu 04-Jun-20 19:57:20

It's not healthy Is it.
Today I have spent 3 hours checking his last seen.
Then he pops up and I go replying within 3 minutes.
It's pathetic
I chase after him,no wonder he doesn't value me.
I've shown him he can treat me like crap and I still kiss his arse.

OP’s posts: |
CupofT90 Thu 04-Jun-20 20:24:26

I wouldn’t be annoyed
He just doesn’t want to speak right now i guess. Men like their space I’ve found.
Keep yourself busy and don’t bother checking up on his last seen. Don’t chase him as men don’t like that kind of thing.
It’s hard but try and not let him be your happiness etc.
Good luck op daffodil

Nursing2029 Thu 04-Jun-20 22:52:02

I am with a 46 year old man who behaves like this.
Never replies or is too busy but is straight on Facebook as it would be rude according to him of he didn't reply to a comment. Drives me nuts.
My advice would be get rid.
He will know he is doing this. Do you ever mention it to him?

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