31, divorced & single…anyone been in my boat?

[skreyes489]

Hi ladies, hope everyone is healthy and safe!

I am posting here looking for some solidarity because I feel like my life is a huge dumpster fire ATM. I feel ridiculous even posting here with all the injustice and madness going on in the world but here I am. I used to be very active on here while planning my wedding in 2015 and I remember this being a very kind & compassionate space.

I am 31 and been divorced since I was 28 (2017). My ex-H was a emotionally abusive asshole and I am eternally grateful I was able to get away relatively unscathed after 5 tumultuous years together. In the years since, I have travelled extensively, built amazing new friendships, advanced my career and gotten a lot closer with my family. Basically, did everything I wasn’t able to do since our relationship (though outwardly perfect) held me back in life so much. I’ve dated in the past 3 years but that only led to more disappointment and heartbreak to sum it up. I feel like a healthy & happy relationship is so out of reach for me and I marvel that others were lucky enough to find kind, wonderful partners. It makes me feel rather unlucky and like an outlier since so many around me are in happy relationships.

No one around me really understands my feelings about this. They tell me I’m young, successful, pretty – why can’t I just be happy until the right person comes along?

The past 3 months have been especially rough. Due to CoVid, I have been laid off from my job and moved back in with my mom and dad. This was initially a HUGE & devastating blow but it did lead to something positive as I am now changing careers to become a nurse 🙂 I am getting As in my pre-req classes so far which I am very proud of. Also my parents house is huge and we have a pool so that’s a plus 😀

So even though my life is moving in another direction, being single still really bothers me. I’m considering not even dating at all and 100% focusing on myself, friends and nursing school. And if a relationship happens, it happens. But I am unsure of how to reconcile this idea with the fact that I am terrified I will be alone the rest of my life. I just want things to fall into place.

Do any of you relate? Can you share your story?

[Songsofexperience]

Yes, I'm 40, lost my job three weeks ago and leaving a 20 year marriage. Life feels shit right now. Hang in there.

[walkingchuckydoll]

I was alone after a long relationship at 31. I dated a few years on and off and met DH at 34. I felt quite happy alone so maybe that was it? Or maybe I was just lucky, I don't know.