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Your most embarrassing naked moments?

(30 Posts)
reginaphalange101 Thu 04-Jun-20 04:08:29

So it's 2:30am, I'm almost 8 months pregnant and constantly boiling hot so have had a lack of pyjamas recently. Baby woke me up by laying on my bladder so I dash to the bathroom for a wee.

I open the bathroom door to go back to bed and my FIL was stood on the stairs (NO IDEA WHY?!) and caught an eyeful. I screamed 'sorry!' And slammed the door.

My mouth completely dried up and I cannot stop thinking about how I'm going to face him tomorrow. Please tell me your embarrassing naked mishaps to ease my embarrassmentblush it's now two hours later and I can't sleep, I just want life back to how it used to be before my partners dad saw my bulging belly, tits and beaver!

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changeitupagain Thu 04-Jun-20 04:53:33

Oh I really feel for you, that sounds horrifically embarrassing, the only slight consolation I can try to offer is that your FIL will be just as embarrassed as you.

I'll share my story but I'm afraid it doesn't really compare.

20 and in Thailand for the full moon party. I went back with a boy to what I thought and he told me was his empty hostel room. After we were done (and I'm a little loud blush) there was a clap from across the room. Turns out there was someone else in there and they'd watched/listened to the whole thing. Not only had I had sex in a room with someone else in, mortifying in itself, but we had made no effort to be quiet or stay covered so they'd seen and heard everything.

longtimecomin Thu 04-Jun-20 05:02:34

I just want life back to how it used to be before my partners dad saw my bulging belly, tits and beaver!

Great sentence!!

My ex husband was showing his family some photos projected on to the tv and in the photos was one of me from behind, naked. You could see my arse, it then froze on that picture and took an age to move to the next one, all the while I'm shouting at my husband. blush

SunshineLollipopsRainbow Thu 04-Jun-20 05:10:03

If its any consolation he probably didn't see your beaver (lol) as your belly would be in the way smile

Yellowwibble Thu 04-Jun-20 06:42:24

One evening I was about to get in the bath and the house phone rang. So I went to the lounge to answer it. I was naked and home alone. Doors locked. My dh was at work and not due back till late. He works with people with learning disabilities. They had, had a day trip out and our house is on the way back to town. Some people were in need of the toilet. There was no public toilet around so my dh decides to use ours. I'm still chatting on the phones when I hear the front door open and several voices. I dashed out of the lounge. My dh and a small group of people he supports stood and watched my bare naked arse wobbling up the stairs.

Thingsdogetbetter Thu 04-Jun-20 07:02:58

Ground floor flat, kitchen at the back. Went to get juice from fridge - naked. Standing there happily drinking from carton and looked round to see man washing windows. Opened fridge, calmly put carton back and then fled room in panic.

Walked into hall one morning - naked. Noticed husband at front door taking parcel from postman. Screamed and ran away. Dh said postman had not noticed til I screamed. Oops.

I tend to wonder around my home naked a lot. Maybe I need to buy pjs. Lol.

Allthebubbles Thu 04-Jun-20 07:07:59

One Saturday morning years ago, I was topless and went up behind my husband who was sitting down to give him a hug, my boobs kind of flopped on either shoulder, I then looked down into the somewhat surprised faces of the African teachers he was having a Skype call with. I have never backed out of a room so quickly....

zippityzip Thu 04-Jun-20 07:09:52

I was at the awkward puberty age. Maybe 13 - where everything is disproportionate and you're still slightly covered in puppy fat but have lumps and bumps growing.

Anyway, I have two older brothers and we had two bathrooms upstairs. I knew my brothers were going out to football and I heard the front door open and close whilst in the shower. So, assuming the house was now empty, I realise that there aren't any towels in the bathroom so I think I'll just run across the hall to the other bathroom and grab a towel.

Except in all my fresh nakedness it wasn't sufficient to just walk across the hall, I did a full ballerina leap, legs splayed, arms out, in all my chubby pubescent naked glory.

At the foot of the stairs, were two of my brothers 16 year old friends putting on their shoes, with a full view from BELOW of my naked leap.

The moment happened in slow motion, I even saw their eyes widen in shock, literally as soon as I done it, I died inside. I still cringe thinking about it. Those two particular friends never came back to the house.

Willowmartha1 Thu 04-Jun-20 07:14:06

Not entirely naked but still mortifying ! I had to call out an ambulance for my DD when she was a baby as she whilst she was breastfeeding she suddenly had a funny turn and almost stopped breathing. When the ambulance men arrived I let them in and couldn't think why one of them was staring at me oddly - I was horrified to look down and see my top was still up with my boobs on full display 😳😳😳

Bluntness100 Thu 04-Jun-20 07:14:29

Went into the kitchen one morning naked, years ago, and the bin men were coming down the side of the house to get the bins, we passed the side return window at the same time, they looked at me in shock, I looked at them In shock,,,, and I dropped to the floor and crawled commando style to a spot they couldn’t see me anymore.

I have a neighbour who we think it’s a naturist. He’s never mentioned it, I guess for obvs reasons, but a few folks have reported seeing him naked as they’ve passed his house.

My husband came back from playing golf last weekend, and sat in the garden with me, about ten mins later he said quietly “ I’ve just seen “frank” naked, he’s strimming bollock naked in his garden “ 🤣

LifeBeginsNow Thu 04-Jun-20 07:40:32

Mine isn't about me being naked - I hope that's ok?

I went to stay with an ex on the family farm and being a dairy farmer, he was up incredibly early so I was on my own.

I popped downstairs to make a cuppa and the door to the side of the kitchen opens and his dad bends down to plonk the little dog on the floor. I said hello - I dont think I'd met him properly before and explained I was making a drink and did he want one. He said no and rushed off back upstairs.

Later that morning, my ex came back laughing. He asked if I'd seen his dad naked. Well looking back, I cant believe I didn't notice but he was stood there completely starkers. In my defence, the sun was shining behind him and was pretty blinding so I couldn't make him out clearly.

It made for a tricky interaction the next time I saw him! I bet he was glad when we broke up!

HereComesSimon Thu 04-Jun-20 07:44:12

I was sat breastfeeding a couple of years ago when a delivery man decided to post my parcel through the little window confused
He hadn't knocked first and just silently appeared there.

Of course the parcel got stuck and he was making a lot of noise trying to get it through the window. I started shushing and rocking ds who had just fell asleep and gently led him down.
Then for reasons unknown I continued to shush and rock from side to side as I walked over and pulled the parcel through. All whilst my top was pulled up blush

I think the poor bloke was a bit scared.

reginaphalange101 Thu 04-Jun-20 07:55:00

These have given me a laugh this morning after 3 hours sleepgrin I haven't seen him this morning but my DP seems to think it's hilarious! Thankfully we'll be moving out in a few weeks so I can have all the naked privacy I desiregrin it's either that or pack up and start a new life... haven't decided yet!!!

My only wish was that the bathroom light hadn't been on as a projector of me in all my glory. Welp, at least I shaved...

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Shoehorner Thu 04-Jun-20 07:55:53

@changeitupagain

Very similar story from me. Bit drunk, had met a fella out on a night out and he talked me into going back to his. Went into the very dark room, got down to business with all the moans and groans that entails and then crashed out on his bed with him. Both of us starkers. The next morning, I was a bit disorientated and opened my eyes to see a naked arse and back facing me on the next single bed. I thought it was my fella. Next minute the bloke turns around with a hard on and he is someone I have never seen in my life. My fella had gone to get some breakfast for us and this was his mate! He smiled and said “Thanks for the show last night, 10/10!! I think he wanted a repeat performance with him involved! I made my excuses and left.

reginaphalange101 Thu 04-Jun-20 10:27:10

Well, nothing has been said and I'm still replaying last nights horror over and over againblush My SIL and friends have had a good laugh at me this morning, I feel better telling people about it than keeping our awkward encounter to myself.

My friend said he should be more embarrassed at the fact he didnt say anything/avert his eyes, he just stared at me while I scrambled for safetyshock Not sure I'll ever get over the moment I bared all of my glory at 3am illuminated like baby Jesus by the bathroom light. Sigh...

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DeltaFlyer Thu 04-Jun-20 10:39:36

About 7 years ago I Dtd with a new man, we were cuddling after. I needed to trump so I was holding it in as didn't want to do it in front of him. Proper bum clenching moment.
Except he chose that moment to take his hand down there for round 2 and as my legs opened I couldn't hold it any longer so farted up his arm. blush
I was mortified, he was laughing.
We got married last year, had to veto that story out of the wedding speech.

thecatsarecrazy Thu 04-Jun-20 11:24:08

Hope this doesn't make me look bad 😬 but I have an admirer me page like only fans, to promote I use twitter and recently set up Instagram. I use a separate name and email. The other day I posted a snap on Instagram using emojis to cover my boobs and accidentally hit share to Facebook, saying for the uncensored pictures please visit my admire me with a link 😳. It was up an hour before my brother replied with WHAT!!! Nobody else has said anything. It's a side of my life I would prefer to keep private from family

Interestedwoman Thu 04-Jun-20 11:28:44

I lived in a shared house. Thought no-one else was in, came out of the bath to walk across the landing to my room, and ran into the TV licence man. grin

Thecatsarecrazy- Noooo! Bet you won't do that again (hopefully.)

thecatsarecrazy Thu 04-Jun-20 11:40:12

Was talking to a guy the other day after my slip up. He said he accidentally sent a picture to his sil meant for someone else, in his glory with a rude comment. He said she never said anything but hasn't looked at him the same since.

reginaphalange101 Thu 04-Jun-20 11:45:10

@thecatsarecrazy don't worry, I had a friend who sent a picture of her ehem... grin to her boyfriend on snapchat. Only she had actually added it to her story and didn't realise for 3 hours shock

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ArthurBloom Thu 04-Jun-20 12:13:52

@Allthebubbles
That was absolutely hilarious, thank you

Puzzledandpissedoff Thu 04-Jun-20 13:07:32

Back in the days when we got photos printed at shops, my ex ordered an extra set of a family wedding to send to an aged aunt

Such a shame he forgot that, before leaving the house and with the film already loaded in the camera, he'd taken one shot of me walking into the bedroom naked

Grouphugs Thu 04-Jun-20 13:17:44

DH puts on silly voices regularly to make me laugh.

We were staying in a UK hotel for a wedding and DH had gone down to the bar to watch rugby, whilst I snoozed nakedly in bed. We had only been given one key card but as we were there only one night, I didn't bother asking for a second. I could let DH back in when he was ready.

After an hour or so at half time, a knocking came at the door with a fake foreign "meenee bar" (minibar). I laughed, hopped out of bed starkers, and let him in.

It was - of course - the man who had come to refill the minibar.

Dunkingthebiscuits Thu 04-Jun-20 13:32:18

zippityzip thank you so much for sharing that, the tears were rolling down my face whilst reading that x

vivariumvivariumsvivaria Thu 04-Jun-20 13:48:00

am chuckling at the naked leaping 13 year old.

As is my 13 year old.

Brilliant.

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