I need some independent advice please.
I am a 30 something aged woman, who has been married for under 5 years, but have been with my partner for 19 years. We met when we were young, and it is the only serious relationship we have both had. We share four children together.
I’m utterly miserable in this relationship. We merely exist along side each other. There is no affection, little sex, and I don’t enjoy spending any time with him - I don’t want to spend time with him. We have had many ups and downs and have fought for the relationship to continue more times that I can remember.
I’m not sure this is just a response to recent lock down circumstances. He has always been lazy for example, lacking in motivation and ambition. The root of most of our disagreements. I am the primary bread winner, he earns half what I do, I enable us to do nice things, have a nice home and go on foreign holidays etc.
He’s not even a great dad. He fell out with our teenager months ago, and still to this day will not talk to him. His idea of doing something with the younger children is to play the PS4 with them. We only leave the house for leisure purposes if I instigate it.
I just keep thinking, is this it, is this what life has to be like? I’m bored, uninterested and so unhappy. If I talk to him, he blames it on me, and refuses to continue the discussion. To complicate matters we are currently having some building work done on our home, and I’m worried if I do end things he will want to walk away with half the money we borrowed to pay the builder.
I think I’m my head, we are over, it needs to end on good terms for the sake of the kids. But I worry that if I do end it I may regret my decision. I honestly don’t know what to do.
It was recently our anniversary. I got him a card, and made an effort - he did not.
How do you know when the relationship is over? I feel sick just writing this, but I need to get it off my chest.
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How do you know when it’s over?
14 replies
Comfort3 · 03/06/2020 15:56
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