Been with OH for 18 months and they’ve been rocky at times but overall very happy. I was reading the love bombing thread and I guess you could say that was him at the beginning - he fell in love with me very quickly and was very open about how he felt. The difference is, now that has worn off to some extent he’s in no way abusive or even unkind, just distant and not as loving.
This was hard enough before lockdown but it’s intolerable now - we’ve only seen each other twice, distanced and although we’re always in touch - we speak or text every day - and he’s adamant things are fine between us, all of the romance and affection has pretty much gone.
I’m so desperate for some reassurance that he still feels the same about me but even when I openly ask him he refuses to give it, just says everything is fine and this is the way things have to be for now - tbh it hurts that he won’t see me as I’d have taken the risk but I do respect his opinion on that. But I look back through his old messages and it kills me that he can’t speak to me like that again. Normally I’d just say hey it’s a bloke, they don’t show their feelings, but I know he’s capable of it.
I just don’t understand him. He’s made it very clear he wants to be with me but beyond that we may as well not together. I don’t know whether it’s just that he’s finding lockdown tough and has shut himself off or if he genuinely isn’t bothered any more but in that case why not just say? He’s suffered badly with depression in the past so I do try and give him space/support/whatever and not expect too much but at the moment I’m getting nothing.
I’d break it off because the constant worrying and wondering are not good for me especially just now, but it’s not a conversation to have by text or over the phone - he’s likely to just blank me so I really need to speak to him face to face.
I think I just need to detach myself emotionally from him until this is over but I’ve no idea how to do that and the fact I’m so into someone who refuses to give me what I need does really depress me.
Seeing him is the only thing I’m looking forward to when this is over but I wonder if I’m wasting my time, for whatever reason he just doesn’t appear to feel the same about me - is he seeing (well talking to just now) someone else? Did he not find me attractive any more when we met up? Am I just a safety bet to help his loneliness and self esteem?
So sad and nobody I can talk about this with irl 😥
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Relationships
Need reassurance so badly - or should I just end it?
AGoodYearfortheRoses · 02/06/2020 06:31
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