Are people still so suprised when a father cares for his own children??

[oranges]

I just had my MIL asking me if dh (HER son, who she thinks is the best thing ever) will be okay with my ds when I go out on Saturday night. I just muttered something, but it made me sad to think that even his own mother thinks dh can't look after ds properly. Especially as he's never been anything but a devoted father.

[expatinscotland]

Because they're stuck in the dark ages.

[fryalot]

yep.

When dd2 was little, we both looked after her equally and when she was with me, I got the occasional comment about a mums work never being done etc.... when dp had her he constantly got asked "are you babysitting then?" and "where is squonk?"

And if he changed a nappy, I would get "ooh, isn't he good, you've got him well trained"

Twas very irritating.

Nowadays he works 956 hours a day so it doesn't happen any more

[oranges]

But, but, but oh come on. Even FIL did everything for his children.

[harleyd]

lol i still get raised eyebrows when i go out and leave dh alone with the 4 kids
why wouldnt he be able to cope!

[DarrellRivers]

Golly oranges, and that's just for the one night
I'm going on a corse next week, so will be away for 4 nights (first time by myself for a few years)
DH will be at home, with my mum and the nanny helping out during the day when he is at work.
OMG, the look on people's faces when you tell them, 'you are leaving them'
No I'm leaving them temporarily with their father, not running off with the postie for ever.

[sweetkitty]

yes I get this all the time for my Mum and MIL when DP changes a nappy they practically give him a round of applause FFS.

Love the "oh isn't DP good babysitting LETTING you go out"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[oranges]

I did have a friend say - 'oh, isn't he good for babysitting'. I told her that sentance was wrong on so many levels. DH works long hours, but when he's home, he does anything I would do.

[harleyd]

i went away for 4 nights recently and people were bringing dh casseroles etc to make sure they ate properly
he was a bit put out by it

[oranges]

lol at running off with the postie. I'm going away for 4 days next week too, and both my mother and MIL have swung into action, because of course dh 'can't cope.'

[smugmumofboys]

PILs were once overheard saying that DH was a 'modern dad' because he was changing a nappy fgs!

You can't babysit your own kids. That one really gets on my nerves!

[DirtyGertiefromnumber30]

my mil eyebrows go through the roof if she comes over and dh is bathing kids or cooking tea. She thinks im a good-for-nothing lazy harlot who is taking advantage of her poor hen-pecked son because he works all day and also helps with the kids and housework on eves and weekends.

I went away for the weekend recently and she came over on the sat and sun to cook for them and help put them to bed! (ps hardly see hide nor hair of her usually! pps thank god)

[OrmIrian]

Not that I know of. DH and I share childcare about 40/60 (housework is a different matter mind you ). I also know quite a few divorced dads who look after their DCs exclusively when they have them. Maybe it makes a difference that most of my female friends who are mothers also WOHM. It wouldn't occur to me (or anyone of my friends) to question that.

My mother's generation is a different matter of course.

[dalmatianbabe]

I went to OZ for 2 weeks and my DH did a sterling job, as I knew he would.

He even did spreadsheets for all the jobs he had to tick off so he wouldn't forget.

But the song and dance lots of people made,(family and in the school playground)about him being with our 3 kids was terrible! he felt quite insulted.

But hang on, I don't think he's cleaned any toilets since I've been back...funny that, isn't it?

[LucyJones]

My dad says he can't babysit his grandchildren until they are 5 because he wouldn't know what to do if they cry etc so mymum always has to be there.

This is the man who took his 4 kids on holiday alone for a whole week. He certainly knew what to do 35 years ago so God knows why he's come over all pathetic now

[sparklygothkat]

PMSL!! I took my girls away in the summer holiday to the family caravan, DH had to stay here and DS decided to stay with him. So off I went with the 2 hardest girls ever to control, and had a lovely weekend.

Dh's mother then phoned him and asked if he was ok looking after DS (who is an angel compared to the girls) and did he and DS want to come and stay with her??

I pmsl when DH told me what she had said, he is quite able to look after his kids..

[unknownrebelbang]

DH bumped into one of the teachers at some recreational park last year when he was out with the lads.

She was most impressed that he was out by himself with them.

Having said that, she had her mum with her to help her look after her two (youngest was only a few weeks old at the time).

[sfxmum]

dh was the main carer for dd for about 4months from when she was 1yr old.
he used to tell me all the daft comments he got and at times he would get quite enraged by all the nonsense

I am her father ffs why would I not 1) be able to look after her? 2) enjoy it?

it is really sad

[stepfordwife]

what about the "oh he's such a good dad because he takes his dc to the park/feeds them/baths them, etc"

do you ever hear anyone saying, "oh, she's such a good mum because......"

dh is equally capable as i am in looking after our 3 kids and far more capable on the domestic front..thank god!