A bit of back story here and could really do with some advice.
After many years of being unhappy and putting up with a rubbish relationship I finally told my husband it was over in January after 17 years. It was an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship throughout except for the last few years as he did change his behaviour but it was too little too late for me.
My husband has put me through a lot of rubbish these last nearly 6 months and things are far from being sorted and he still believes we will work it through despite me constantly telling him no or he is nagging for sex. I don't feel like I am away from him by far despite the fact I have moved out of the family home. We have 2 dc's together so I would like us to get on for their sakes but at what cost to my own mental health.
How have people dealt with their abusive ex husbands and got it to finally sink in it is over and done with or will it always be like this? I know I haven't helped the situation by giving in previously and going back so I suppose I deserve it to a certain extent. I realised a few weeks ago I am no longer frightened of him though which was a revelation! I just feel we constantly go round in circles about everything.
Also this post is probably two questions in one! I unexpectedly met someone and we get on really well and he is pretty amazing so far. I am however so conscious of jumping from my 17 year shitty abusive relationship I've been in since I was 17 into something else that's serious. I feel I need time on my own with my dc's to remember who I am and heal emotionally as well as I can. Am I being unreasonable to ask him to give me 6 months of time on my own to deal with my shit or am I being unfair on him? I didn't do anything to discourage us and it was probably what I needed at the time but I didn't expect it to get this serious as quick. Has anyone else jumped from one relationship into another and felt ok about it? Also when you've been in an abusive relationship how do you know what is even normal in the next relationship! Thank you for any help
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Am I being reasonable?
4 replies
brooklyn11 · 31/05/2020 19:44
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