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Another one bites the dust

(13 Posts)
anotherdisaster Sun 31-May-20 17:47:36

So yet another relationship has come to an end. Met on OLD 8 months ago. There were, of course, red flags at the beginning (drinks a lot and was very full-on). However, I actually thought this could be the one. Until we had our first disagreement. I realised that he is extremely huffy and childish. He doesn't see my point of view EVER, and seemed to disregard my feelings on most topics.
So, it would seem you never really know what someone is like until you fall out and see how they react.
I'm genuinely gutted that, yet again, the person I thought I could be happy with turns out to be someone else entirely.

OP’s posts: |
TheoriginalLEM Sun 31-May-20 17:51:21

At least you've listened to your instincts. Don't settle, you deserve better

anotherdisaster Sun 31-May-20 17:58:45


At least you've listened to your instincts. Don't settle, you deserve better

Thanks. I would never settle now. I had a horrible 15 year relationship so no way would I want that again. I;'m not looking for perfect but there are certain things i just won't tolerate.
I just feel like this keeps happening now....

OP’s posts: |
NoMoreDickheads Sun 31-May-20 18:04:31

So, have you got rid of him?

there are certain things i just won't tolerate. I just feel like this keeps happening now

If you block etc dodgy ones at the first sign, they don't take up much of your time. It's actually quite satisfying.

Babdoc Sun 31-May-20 18:08:15

Disagreeing with a man is an excellent test of the relationship. Any man can play nice if you always do what he wants, never cross him.
But see what happens if you want to go somewhere different to him, or want a different meal to the one he suggests.
A normal well adjusted chap will either happily go along with your choice, or calmly discuss the alternatives/his reasons and make a joint choice with you, or compromise willingly.
A potential “red flag” partner will either aggressively argue you into submission for ages, never backing down til you give in, or go off in a sulk, or become violent.
You have seen his true colours, OP. And they ain’t pretty.

Bluntness100 Sun 31-May-20 18:09:13

So what happened, did you end it or did he? What was the disagreement about?

anotherdisaster Sun 31-May-20 18:17:40

@NoMoreDickheads yes I ended things with him

@Babdoc you have hit the nail on the head

@Bluntness100 I ended it. Its been a few things over the last few weeks really. Firstly I had an issue with my ex (who is an arse) and he just behaved OTT about it, demanding his number and that he would 'sort things out'. He just would not listen to me when I tried to explain he would make things worse. This reaction concerned me. Then I noticed he would ignore certain things I said I didn't like and would just ignore me and do them anyway - shrugging it off like its no big deal. The final straw was his obsession with social media. I had asked him not to post certain things but instead of respecting my opinion, he took a strop. He then proceeded to do it again a few weeks later and took another strop when I pulled him up. I ended things and he became quite unpleasant and seemed to have no clue what he had done wrong. He then decided to say that the relationship ended because of me being unreasonable.
So, in a nutshell, he ignores my feelings and does what he wants anyway. And is childish and huffy to boot.

OP’s posts: |
Onemansoapopera Mon 01-Jun-20 00:47:46

Did you take his feelings into account and try to reach a middle ground?

Thelnebriati Mon 01-Jun-20 01:06:52

How do you do that with someone that gets huffy and childish? It just turns into soothing and placating. It feels more like parenting than dating.

ExShield Mon 01-Jun-20 01:19:22

Just out of interest, what is this MSN’s relationship history and level of education? And dare I say it, social class?

anotherdisaster Mon 01-Jun-20 08:15:42

@Onemansoapopera if you read my post you will see it was him who could not take my feelings into account and reach a middle ground

@ExShield what does MSN mean?

OP’s posts: |
Onemansoapopera Mon 01-Jun-20 12:08:33

Sorry I did I just didn't see any indication that you listened to his feelings too. Was tired though, will give it another read

anotherdisaster Mon 01-Jun-20 12:39:15

@Onemansoapopera I can't really put specific details as it may be outing but he was posting things on Facebook relating to me and I asked him not to. I think this is my right to say no to this and he should have respected that. There were other incidents of things like this but this one in particular he kept ignoring.

OP’s posts: |

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