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Two years with no dates

(18 Posts)
Itsallpointless Sat 30-May-20 21:17:29

It's coming up two years since I broke up a seven year relationship. I made the right decision without any shadow of a doubt, happy with that.

Speaking to a friend today, who was quite taken aback that I'd not had a date since the break up. I'm in my fifties, and have not pursued any OLD. She made me feel like there's something wrong with me? Is this too long without a date? I'm beginning to think I must be undateable!

OP’s posts: |
yesterdaystotalsteps123 Sat 30-May-20 21:22:15

You do you. It always amazes me when people give you their unasked for opinions about your relationship status. I'm planning on zero dates for at least the next 5 years. Being single is just as valid as any other relationship status. Enjoy!!

465768P Sat 30-May-20 22:16:29

It's upto you if you want to date or not do whats best for you.

I stayed single for 8 years by my own choice until I met my partner.

letsdolunch321 Sat 30-May-20 22:19:27

If you feel like you want to date then do it. If you are happily single, then stay single .... there are no rules, it is entirely what you want to do

Whaleoilbeefhookedagain Sat 30-May-20 22:19:32

If you are happy single thats fine. If you want to date thats okay too. Just enjoy yourself its up to you.

notmrscookie Sat 30-May-20 22:36:13

Its what feels right.Your self worth shouldn't be measured in dates .There is no point juar dating people to say you have had a date ..
Its quality not quantity

NameChange84 Sat 30-May-20 22:41:54

I’m 36 and it’s over 5 years for me but it really does bother me. I’ve started to realise that I can’t see myself being the sort of person that goes on dates or is the other half of a relationship, not because it’s not what I want but it just feels so alien to me now. I’m used to being alone. The person that used to be “in love” or someone that received physical affection just seems so...gone...I can’t imagine ever being her again.

If you are happy then it’s absolutely no one’s business to interfere or tell you how to live your life. But if you aren’t happy then you could change it.

As a pp said you do you!

Crystalspider Sat 30-May-20 22:54:35

Your not undateable, your just not looking for it.

Oct18mummy Sat 30-May-20 23:11:09

After a break up I was single and no dates for just over 3 years had no interest. Nothing wrong with you.

Chocolate123 Sat 30-May-20 23:54:40

You should date when you are ready. I chose to stay single when my marriage broke up for 10 years. My kids were young and I wasn't in the right head space to be looking. After that I dipped into OLD and enjoyed some and hated other parts of it. Met my partner after a while and couldn't be happier. Do it if you want to so many people comment telling you what to do. Do what feels good for you.

DDIJ Sat 30-May-20 23:57:37

I've been a lot longer than 2 years with no dates but I have been actively trying to do OLD for all of that time. Do you want to meet anyone? Don't let your friend make you feel bad. Do what works for you.

Mintjulia Sun 31-May-20 00:07:02

Longer than 2 years here as well. I’m comfortable with my decision. Being single is calm and civilised, no game playing. It seems totally normal..

OLD is too unpleasant to be worth the bother, especially while I have a young child at home.

PumpkinP Sun 31-May-20 00:11:09

I’ve not had a single date in 3 years (I’m 31) people also make out like I’m really weird/strange for not wanting to date. But most of these people have a new man every month.

Itsallpointless Sun 31-May-20 05:44:38

I was unhappy in my last relationship, he was difficult, a liar, and it just wasn't easy. The thought of going through that again puts me off dating. OLD is just not for me anymore (met the last 2 OLD) as I just don't have the energy for the bullshit.

I am a firm believer in allowing yourself time between break ups. Maybe in time, but I'm not getting any younger, and men my age want young womenhmm

Thank you for making me feel 'normal'grin

OP’s posts: |
Feelingfree Sun 31-May-20 08:07:33

I’m in my 50s and have been single 4 years. I did some OLD last year. Nearly had a couple of dates but I changed my mind. The reality was I thought I should be dating when deep down I didn’t want to. I’m happy being single at the moment.

You will know when you are ready to date, everyone’s different.

Itsallpointless Sun 31-May-20 21:33:35

@Feelingfree've made me feel better, I don't feel ready if I'm honest, so I'll leave it till I am/or not!

OP’s posts: |
Crystalspider Sun 31-May-20 21:40:56

op everyone is different when they feel ready to date again don't feel bad however long that takes you. Don't worry about men only going for younger women, to my my surprise there is plenty of men that like older women too.

NoMoreDickheads Sun 31-May-20 21:46:54

It takes time to come across someone IRL and OLD is a pain.

After your ex, IDK about you but I enjoy being free of all the bollox that is men, and am not in any hurry to find another one. If someone really nice happens to come along then I might reconsider, but I'm happy doing my own thing for now.

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