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Relationships

Do you forgive sexting?

185 replies

Purplesndteal · 29/05/2020 23:08

One off explicit. He says he just didn't think what he was doing. I do believe it was a one off. It was ten lines. We have a baby, a house, a dog and we're supposed to get married next year

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BarbedBloom · 29/05/2020 23:10

No. It is a dealbrealer for me and also unlikely you caught him first time

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Ughmaybenot · 29/05/2020 23:11

Well, he’s lying straight off isn’t he? He knew exactly what he was doing and he prioritised a wank over his family.
I wouldn’t particularly want to be with a man with priorities like that, personally.

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Plumplumbadum · 29/05/2020 23:12

Why do you believe it was a one off? Maybe because you don't want to contemplate your partner is a cheater? I'm sorry but it sounds to me like he knew exactly what he was doing. I mean really, no one just drifts off into fitlhy messages by accident do they?

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Plumplumbadum · 29/05/2020 23:13

Filthy*

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Purplesndteal · 29/05/2020 23:13

Well it wasn't a wank, per se... Imdodnt ser the whole thing (he deleted it) but did go through his phone and photos, etc... And nothing sneaky

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AnyFucker · 29/05/2020 23:14

One off = first time you caught him

Don't waste your life on a cheating man. You will be miserable, mark my words

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Plumplumbadum · 29/05/2020 23:15

You don't delete stuff if you've got nothing to hide.

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Crystalspider · 29/05/2020 23:15

No I wouldn't, save yourself a future divorce. I once found that my ex H sent a flirty email not explicit but found I just could never trust him after that, in the end he broke up with me because I was always jealous.
Very hard to trust when it's been broken.

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Wheresthebiffer2 · 29/05/2020 23:16

No, I don't think I could forgive that.

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Purplesndteal · 29/05/2020 23:16

Well exactly! He did message this person and asked for clarification . She said it was just "banter".

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marvellousnightforamooncup · 29/05/2020 23:16

No. I don't want a man enough to put up with shoddy behaviour.

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fanniboz · 29/05/2020 23:16

No. Can almost guarantee it's not the first time or the last. LTB

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Ughmaybenot · 29/05/2020 23:17

Ha. But you believe it was a one off and it was only ten lines.
You literally just said he deleted the messages, what makes you think he wouldn’t have deleted other incriminating evidence?

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Sharkyfan · 29/05/2020 23:17

Not sure about forgiving it i think that depends on other factors.

But for me it is different to cheating in person, and less bad/different I suppose

I think that if they don’t know the person, don’t even know what they look like etc or their name, it is not as much of a betrayal as cheating in person or an extended emotional affair or online liaison.
I think some people can compartmentalise and it’s easy to think they’re not doing anything wrong or crossing a line as it’s ‘just messaging’

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Sharkyfan · 29/05/2020 23:18

If it’s someone you both know.... it would seem unlikely that 10 lines was all there is to it

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Ughmaybenot · 29/05/2020 23:18

‘Just banter’ oldest excuse in the book.
He’s such a shit for doing this to you Sad

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Purplesndteal · 29/05/2020 23:19

Yes, it definitely wasn't a relationship. And when he's at home he's always with me. He leaves his phone unlocked, etc...it's not like he goes to the toilet for hours

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Purplesndteal · 29/05/2020 23:19

No o don't know this person she's an ex colleague

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FaceOfASpink · 29/05/2020 23:19

Save yourself the massive admin nightmare of divorce. Cheaters lie, deny, minimize and gaslight. No way is this the first time he's done it.

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Purplesndteal · 29/05/2020 23:20

He's aplohety btw, is the woman who said it was banter

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Bagelsandbrie · 29/05/2020 23:20

He’d be out like a shot. Total dealbreaker.

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Aquamarine1029 · 29/05/2020 23:21

Fuck no. He is cheating. Period. End of story. Do you really think this is the first time? Not a chance.

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achillesratty · 29/05/2020 23:46

So he's saying it was a one off? He sent an explicit message with photographs to another woman on the off chance she would respond? No one starts sexting with an explicit message and photos. He is treating you like you are stupid, show him you're not and get rid of him and keep the dog, it will be more faithful than he will ever be.

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Katinthedoghouse · 29/05/2020 23:48

Nah...

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Dollyrocket · 29/05/2020 23:57

OP, it’s very likely this isn’t a one-off and even if it was, he still did it - so you now have to decide if you can trust him again, if you can forgive and forget.. Staying with someone you don’t / can’t trust is basically signing up for a life of anxiety, phone checking and a good old dose of self-esteem erosion.

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